Albion: Arthur's Slow Deconstruction
by MerlinEmrys2016
Summary: Merthur AU. Arthur had a plan, get wasted and pick up a hot girl. He did not need this bartender with the brilliant smile and leather bracelets to try and figure him out. He also didn't need the distraction of trying to figure this guy out. Cue, Arthur going insane. Or the one where Merlin is a bartender, Arthur hates life, Morgana is clever, and Percival doesn't talk
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: My new story :) Let me know what you think! It won't be updated near as fast, probably actually very slow cause I'm still working on my Waking Up to Stars. That's top priority. Also that will be updated either tomorrow or the day after. My new house has no wifi, so I'm having to work on it at work. Thanks to my fans for staying with me :) Also please review! **

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_Chapter 1_

It started at a bar. The bar, _Ealdor_, was his favorite bar by far. It had the loud music and the constantly being used pool table and the crowded booths in the back and the constant supply of hot women. Arthur was having his usual scotch, watered down of course, and attempting, successfully he might add, to pick up the tall, long – legged blonde with a crooked smile and a beauty mark above her lip in order to blow off steam from his stressful week at work. He leaned forward to ask her to go home with him, his lips brushing against her ear.

In Arthur's defense, it was all going fine and dandy until he had leaned forward to ask her to go home with him, his lips brushing against her ear and sending a shiver down her spine. Of course, she had hurriedly stammered yes, big surprise there, but then she just had to go to the bathroom before they left.

And that is the moment when Arthur's life was shot to hell.

"Can I get you anything else?"

Arthur tore himself away from where he was watching the blonde disappear into the crowd towards the bathroom to look at the bartender.

"Uh, no. Actually, I'll take the bill."

He expected the bartender to comply, because well, that's what he was supposed to do. But this one just stood there, like an idiot, for a minute before he said, "You should let her go home. You've had your fun, my friend."

Arthur glanced back up from his scotch, his eyebrow shooting up. "Do I know you?"

"Uh, no. I'm Merlin-" He held a hand out, a black leather bracelet on his wrist, his English accent thick.

Arthur stared at the hand, "Yet, you called me your friend?"

Merlin laughed, short and curt, dropping his hand. "Yes, that was my mistake."

Arthur downed the rest of his drink, trying not to show how much it burned his throat on the way down and muttered, "Yes, it would seem it was."

Again Merlin laughed, wiping his hands on the towel that was slung over his shoulder, "Yeah. I could never have a friend that could be such an ass."

Well, fuck a duck. That got Arthur's attention. He was Arthur Pendragon. At the young age of twenty-six he was the CEO of _Camelot_, a large security company that had contracts with most of New York City, including this very bar. No one, except for his father and sister, talked to him that way. He wouldn't stand for it, especially not for this…hoodlum.

"Nor I one that could be so stupid." He bit back.

The idiot smiled. Smiled damn it. Like he thought Arthur was kidding. He did have a brilliant smile though, one that looked like it could light up even the darkest rooms and the hardest hearts. He wasn't actually bad looking, not if you were into that type of thing and Arthur was not. He was tall, skinny, but not scrawny, definitely more athletic. He wore a plain black shirt and low cut black jeans and, _of course_, he had a wallet chain that swung from his back pocket to his front belt loop because that was just oh so original. Both wrists were cusped in black leather bracelets and Arthur was almost expecting his fingernails to be painted black, but they weren't. On the inside of his bicep, there was a tattoo of a Hebrew word and his forearm bore a strange triskelion. How ironic that the man with the most blinding smile in the world was clad in all black.

"Well if you're done checking me out, I'll get your bill."

That woke Arthur right the fuck up. "Get over yourself_, Mer_lin. Just get me my bill and leave me alone."

For once, Merlin didn't smile, he just glared and said in an utterly bored tone, "Prat," he glanced back to where the blonde Arthur had been trying to take home was on her way back, "Listen, she's a regular here and a sweet girl. I know you plan on sleeping with her and leaving in the morning, because you're just that kind of guy," he held up his hand as Arthur started to interrupt, "but I'm asking you not to. Either go and stay with her until she wakes up or don't go with her at all."

The blonde (what on earth was her name) finally made it back to the bar and gave a small wave, "Hi, Merlin."

"Hello, Elena." Merlin nodded and then with one more meaningful look pointed at Arthur, turned to head towards the register.

"You ready to go?" Her smile was so sweet, so innocent when she turned to Arthur that his insides churned.

He swallowed. Hard. "Actually, you want to get a few more drinks first?"

"Are you trying to get me drunk, Arthur?" She winked, but nodded and motioned for Merlin.

Merlin seemed relieved enough that he wasn't taking her home quite yet and proceeded to make them two apple martinis, on the house. The rest of the night he left Arthur on his own, occasionally returning to pour them a few shots.

It was around two in the morning when Elena apologized, saying she had to leave, she had to be at work early in the morning and gave him her number. It was around three when Merlin finally brought Arthur's bill to him.

He didn't say anything, not until Arthur handed him the cash. He stood there for a second, fidgeting with the card before he looked up, through his dark bangs and said, "Thank you. You know, for not using her like that."

If he really thought Arthur was going to let him off the hook that easy, he was truly an idiot. "I'm not like that you know. I wouldn't have just left her in the morning."

Merlin frowned, it was an unnatural and painful look on him. "Maybe not in the morning, but you would have. I know your type."

"Oh do you, Merlin? What's my type exactly?" He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the bar and his chin on his hands and looking ever so intrigued.

Merlin's eyes flashed dangerously, "Oh, I don't know. Let's see. You're wearing business clothes. Formal, which means you're probably at the top of some too posh company. You paid for a ridiculously expensive bill – and how you are not falling over by now, I'll never know – with cash and your eyes say you are running on very few hours of sleep and probably have been for awhile now. Which means you can't just be some rich kid that inherited his daddy's money. You must work some high-paying, too-good-for-you job. You have no time for yourself and you wear no wedding ring," he gestured to Arthur's hand here, "so either you're cheating on your spouse because she won't put out for you anymore because you're probably never home or maybe you're not married because you don't have time for a relationship because of your hectic work life. In fact, the only thing you do have time for is a quickie on your stupidly expensive therapeutic bed in your stupidly expensive flat and this quickie not only satisfies your sexual needs, which of course we all have, but it also helps you blow off steam from work."

Arthur stared, silent.

"You maybe wouldn't have left her tomorrow morning, but you would have left her the day after or maybe a week later, or a month later. No matter what, you would have left. Because nothing matters more than work," he leaned forward on the bar, his voice lowering a notch, "And do you know how I know that? Because you got here at ten, still dressed in your work clothes, which could only mean that you came straight from work and didn't go home to dress in something more comfortable," he stood back up, straightening his back and fixing Arthur with a look that Arthur couldn't quite decipher, "So am I along the right lines?"

Arthur's mouth opened like a fish and then he shut it and then repeated the action. He looked down at his hands, at the empty hand that held no wedding ring even though half of his friends were married, "Is that some kind of talent of yours?"

Merlin says "I'm a bartender" as if that would be a proper explanation and then finishes with a rude, "Now if you don't mind, my shift is over so I would like to leave."

Arthur stands, grabbing his suit jacket , and throws a ten dollar bill on the bar for tip because well, fuck him. Merlin glares, but picks it up and shoves it in his pocket.

When Arthur finally does get home, to his ridiculously expensive apartment, he sits in bed and stares at the ceiling and ponders about how much he hates that stupid bartender with the stupid smile and the stupid ability to read people.

Arthur returns to that bar a few times, but he only ever sees Merlin one more time and even then Merlin is too busy to notice him.

Arthur is extremely fine with that.

It's a month before Morgana drags Arthur to _Ealdor _with her and Leon because 'he needs to forget work and get absolutely white-girl wasted'. Apparently, his stress from work is starting to show on his face because even Leon, who is the most unobservant person Arthur knows, notices.

Arthur is still griping by the time that they reach the bar and he's praying to whatever gods will hear him that Merlin is not there because he might off himself.

One glance behind the bar and Arthur lets himself relax because Merlin is not there.

He's having all types of fun, sitting in the front booth, the one by the pool tables, on his phone checking work emails when Morgana decides he should buy the next round. He's almost all the way to the bar when a clumsy buffoon nearly charges into him.

"God, mate, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there."

Arthur is about to make some bitchy comment when he catches a glimpse of the man. The gods must really have it out for him.

The man glances up and his face splits into a grin, "Well, would you look at that. If it isn't Arthur Pendragon."

"Hello, _Mer_lin." And Merlin smiles like his name just won him the lottery. Arthur is standing close enough to him to smell it and there is a glint in his eye that means Merlin is drunk, "Aren't you supposed to be on the other side of the counter?"

"Nope, because this man is lucky enough to have a day off today." It would have been almost impossible to tell since Merlin was wearing almost the exact same outfit.

"Well good for you." And Arthur moves to sidestep him, but Merlin reaches out a hand and blocks his way.

"Why didn't you tell me you were Arthur Pendragon?"

"I told you my name was Arthur."

"But you didn't tell me the Pendragon part."

Arthur glares back at Merlin, chin tilted slightly up because Merlin is slightly taller than him, though Arthur would never admit to that. "Why do you care? Regret calling me an ass now?"

Merlin laughs, "No, you're still an ass. I just didn't realize you were a famous one."

"Fuck off." Arthur finally manages to maneuver around him and head to the bar.

"Prat."

Arthur rolls his eyes and glances over his shoulder to see Merlin disappear into the crowd at the back of the bar. Morgana makes some comment about how the guy he was talking to was cute but Arthur tries to ignore it.

When he's buying his next rounds, Merlin manages to already be at the bar and Arthur is actually positive he's going to die from stress.

Merlin takes one look at him and he's even drunker than he was an hour ago and gives him a small smile. Arthur takes one look at him and wants to leave.

"Hey, wait," his voice is low as he grabs Arthur's arm, "Look, my friend wants to meet you. She saw me talking to you and she kind of has thing for you so she asked me to come get you."

Arthur looks at him like he's insane, "You think I would go anywhere with you?"

"Look, I'm not exactly thrilled either. I don't know what she's so excited about, you're a right arse, but it would mean a lot to her." Arthur didn't budge, "I'll buy you a shot?"

"I'm here with my sister and friend." Arthur says and he's beginning to realize that both he and Merlin are absolutely awful at explanations.

"Are they as annoying as you?" Merlin smirks and Arthur feels annoyed.

"You're not doing a very good job of convincing me."

Merlin opens his mouth to retaliate, but is cut off, "Is he bugging you? I do apologize for his behavior. He can be a bit of an asshole sometimes, but it runs in our blood."

Merlin turns to look at Morgana, who is now standing beside Arthur, smiling like the devil she is. Merlin's pupils dilate and he smirks, his voice hoarse, "well, fuck me."

Arthur feels a whole new level of annoyance at that.

"I'm Merlin." He says cheerfully, drunkenly offering his hand to her.

"Morgana." Her smile is equally cheerful and Arthur wonders if he could kill himself by bashing his head into the bar.

"I was actually just inviting your brother over to my table. I have a friend that's familiar with your name. She wants to meet you, both of you actually."

Morgana is all smiles as she turns to Arthur, playfully swatting his arm, "Well, that just sounds delightful, doesn't it, Arthur?"

Arthur grumbles but somehow that's not enough. And that's how he finds himself being herded towards the back table with Leon and Morgana, a drunken Merlin basically skipping in front of them.

When they arrive at the table of five, the first thing that Arthur notices is that Merlin hangs out with a lot of ridiculously good-looking people. There's a girl with beautiful olive skin and black curls pressed into the corner with a ridiculously attractive man that Arthur might even be jealous of, and a man with a scruffy beard and to-die-for hair sitting next to a tall man with bulging arm muscles. In between the two pairs is a very grumpy looking man who can't be older than his early twenties.

"Guys!" Merlin is already off to his drunken rambling, "This is Arthur and Morgana Pendragon. And that is – actually I don't know your name, sorry."

"Leon." Leon whispers shyly and Arthur smirks at him.

Merlin stares at him for a minute before his face scrunches up into all kinds of confusion, "What?"

A little louder this time, "Leon."

Merlin still looks confused but seems to have given up on understanding and instead turns around and introduces him as Liam. He then points to the curly headed girl, "That's Gwen, my best friend, we used to work together back in the day. Like way-back in the fast-food days. And that is Lancelot, her husband. We met through..." he seems to be struggling with words at this point.

"Oh Merlin, don't' be ashamed. They dated." Gwen exclaims and Arthur can tell she's a little more than drunk too.

"Gwen, really?" Merlin mutters and turns to look at Arthur and Morgana, and Leon too, "He's an ex, but mostly," he shoots a glare back at Gwen, "just a friend."

"You're gay?" Morgana sounds off.

Merlin laughs and Gwen looks ashamed for saying anything. "I'm bisexual."

"I'm just happy to hear the 'bi' part." Morgana smiles, teasing.

"I'll keep that in mind," Merlin blushes and smirks and Arthur wants the floor to swallow him all at once.

"So will I." The one with the to-die-for-hair smirked, raising his glass and winking.

Merlin laughed and returned back to the group, starting with Lancelot again. "That's Lancelot. That's Will, my childhood best friend and my flat mate. That's Gwaine, he's also my flat mate," he laughs at something, Arthur isn't sure what, "And that's Lance's friend, Percival. We call him Percy though."

Arthur nods at everyone and then scoots into the booth after Merlin drunkenly pushes him into it. Gwen is immediately launching questions at him and Morgana, though she seems a lot more preoccupied with Morgana even though she asked for Arthur originally. Arthur jumps in to answer a few questions, but mostly tries to block out Merlin's drunken rambling and Will's icy glare.

"So you're bi?" Arthur says. Such a good conversation starter, but Arthur doesn't know what else to say. His father raised him to believe that homosexuals and bisexuals were unnatural. He had been raised to keep his distance from them and for so long, he believed them to be almost as unnatural as the magical population. The very thought of either of them made him uncomfortable.

Merlin looks at him like he's ridiculous, but then smiles that sunshine smile and nods, "Well kinda. Mostly straight, but I guess there's some gay in there too," He gestures to his crotch and Arthur thinks he's going to be sick.

"Mostly straight, huh?"

"Well, Lance was really the only guy," And Lance glances over to them at the mention of his name and smiles. It isn't sad, not like Arthur thought it would be when you're sitting at the same table as your ex. Lance must have done the dumping then.

Arthur's voice lowers to a whisper and Lance is still watching them, "How long did you two date?"

"You don't have to whisper. Gwen knows the whole story. She's okay with it," Lance says and squeezes Gwen's shoulder. Gwen pauses in her conversation with Morgana and nods at him.

"We dated for three years." Merlin says and his voice isn't sad either and Arthur is confused.

"And then he met…?," Morgana is pointing to Gwen, her eyebrows raised in question.

Gwen laughs, so does Merlin, and Lancelot smiles a little, "Actually no. I met her a year or so after Merlin broke up with me."

"You dumped him!?" Arthur glances between the two because yes, Merlin is an attractive man, again if you're into men, but Lancelot is even more attractive, if you're into men of course. And Arthur is not. It didn't match up. The most attractive always dumped the other one. That's just the way the world worked.

Merlin seemed to pick up on his line of thinking and frowned, "Yes, you asshole."

Dammit, even drunk Merlin was intuitive. Lancelot smiled good-naturedly and Arthur was beginning to gather that he was nothing but good-natured, "I wasn't too surprised. He'd been hanging with the girl quite a bit, it was obvious to everyone except himself that he was crazy about her. He left, but I saw it coming long before he did it."

Merlin now smiled sadly.

"You left him for a girl?" Morgana asked.

"Yes. Oh, you guys should have seen them together," Gwen leaned forward, her hands clasped together, "They were wonderful. So in love. You couldn't help but smile around them. Freya was…she was just everything Merlin needed. They belonged together. You should tell them how you proposed, Me-"

Arthur suddenly interrupted, trying to get rid of the images of Merlin and a girl frolicking through a field of daisies, Lancelot crying in the background, "Isn't it awkward for you to hang around with his ex?," he turned to Merlin, "And isn't it awkward that your ex fell in love with your best friend?"

"No." Merlin smiled, "No, I was thrilled that he found Gwen. I was happy that he could be as happy as I was with Freya. I'm glad they found each other. I wouldn't want them with anyone else."

Gwen beamed at him, "Merlin is family. No matter the history between all of us, he will always be family."

"Oh, I dated Gwen too." Merlin laughed, "I forgot to mention that one. It was only for a month."

"Merlin is a real charmer here. Can't you tell, eh princess?" Gwaine spoke for the first time and his breath smelled of liquor and cigarettes and something else Arthur couldn't recognize.

Arthur's head hurt.

"So, this Freya…are you two still together?" Morgana didn't seem to thrown off by the fact that Merlin had dated forty percent of his friend group.

Merlin's drunken smile immediately disappeared. "Uh, no. We didn't go through with the wedding. Tragic love story, I know. Anyway, that's enough about my life story, who wants to come with me to buy the next round?"

Gwaine volunteered and together the two drunkenly disappeared into the crowd.

Morgana raised an eyebrow and Gwen gave a sad smile, "I'm sorry. He just doesn't like to talk about it."

Arthur really thought Gwen ought to shut up, but she reminded him deeply of Morgana, always gossiping and butting into everyone's business.

"I can see that." Morgana nodded. "Do they still talk?"

Arthur could see that she was trying to act concerned, but he knew that she was only asking all these questions so that she could see if she stood a chance with Merlin or not. It deeply sickened him.

"Uh," Gwen looked uncomfortable and she glanced to Lancelot, who looked down at his drink, circling his finger over the rim, "No, not really."

"She died actually."

Arthur turned to Will, who was the one who had spoke. His icy eyes were on Morgana, as if he could read her intent as well, "He's never really recovered."

Arthur took that as _he's not interested, quit trying._

Morgana's eyes widened and she immediately looked to Gwen, "Oh my gosh, I didn't know, I'm sorry."

"No, no, it's okay. It was over two years ago. Actually two years last Saturday." Gwen tried to offer a sad smile, "They were to be married two months after she died."

"How?" Leon, who had been the most silent one, except for Percival spoke up, "I mean how did she die?"

Will was the one that spoke again, "They were in a car accident, Merlin was driving."

"His car hydroplaned." Gwen finished.

"She was in a coma for a few days, but after they took her off life support, she…"

The table was silent and Arthur immediately felt like an ass for judging Merlin. No one spoke until Merlin basically fell onto the table with a tray of shots.

"You all look somber," how ironic that he was the one who should say that, "I declare all of you must do a shot."

Morgana smiled and there was a hint of pity in her eyes and Arthur hated her for that. He hated pity, always had. Hated how people looked at him with that same damn look when he told them about his mother's death, or how people looked at him when he left the office late.

Merlin seemed to ignore it and held up a shot glass, everyone mirroring him, "To new friends and famous prats."

Morgana snickered at that and with a cheer, minus Arthur's, because Arthur does not cheer for anything, they downed it.

Merlin smiled his brilliant smile and pushed another shot under Arthur's noise and Arthur prayed to God that he would survive this night enough to be at his early meeting on Monday night.

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**A/N: Please, please, review! :) Love you all!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I need reviewss:)) let me know what you guys think of it thus far! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, even though I really really wish I did because Colin Morgan. **

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_Chapter 2 _

_And Iiiiiii will always love youuuuuu_

Arthur squinted open an eye at the horribly wretched singing. The first thing that came into focus (after a full minute of Arthur trying to get his eyes to cooperate) was a black coffee table, which had at least thirteen beer cans lying in various states on it. There was a small scratch on the side closest to Arthur and Arthur used that as a focal point to make his head stop swimming.

A movement on the couch on the opposite side of the coffee table caught his attention and he moved his eyes to focus on the figure there. A man he had some faint memory of, but for the life of him could not remember what his name was.

"What the…" Arthur shot up, immediately regretting the decision as his vision swam. He gripped his head, a wave of nausea washing over him.

"Easy there, mate." He heard a small laugh to his left and glanced up to see some stupid idiot smiling at him.

_A beautiful man with beautiful black hair, obnoxious, dancing on some girl, his lips against her neck, hand up her skirt._

_Gwaine._

"Where…" He gestured half-heartedly to the room around him, "How…"

"Welcome to my humble abode, my friend. Well, mine and Merlin's and Will's." He smiled and Arthur just realized he was frying some eggs and the smell made both his mouth water and his stomach clench painfully, "As for the how…we got a little carried away last night. You were too drunk to drive home."

"Morgana…" Surely she could have driven him home instead of leaving him with a fat lot of strangers.

"She's here too. Sleeping in my room." He laughed, seeming awfully pleased with himself and Arthur felt a hot rush of rage run through him.

"Excuse me!?" He stood up abruptly, trying his best not to vomit and look intimidating at the same time.

Gwaine held his hands up, "Woah, mate, not like that. I slept on the floor," he pointed to the blow up mattress next to Arthur's couch, "I don't think Merlin would appreciate me stealing her from him."

Arthur fumed, "Morgana isn't with Merlin and she never will be."

"So you're nicer when you're drunk. Always good to know." Gwaine winked again and went back to frying his eggs.

Arthur looked back down at the man who was on the opposite couch, just now noticing that the man was staring at him, a tired and hungover look in his eyes.

"And you are…?"

"Lance?" The man laughed, though it sounded slightly strained as if he too was trying not to vomit.

_Lancelot with Gwen, smiling as they grinded together on the dance floor, their eyes only on each other. Merlin glancing over at them, a wide ridiculous smile and a shot glass in hand, "Hear Hear!" _

_Lancelot, Merlin's ex. _

"Oh. Yeah." He slowly sank back into the couch, leaning his head back against the back of the couch and trying to slow down the room.

"Something tells me you don't get out a whole lot, mate." He heard Gwaine say, but ignored him.

"He doesn't."

Arthur opened an eye at the sound of his sister's voice, watching as she sunk into the bar stool that was pulled up to the island in the kitchen, which also had at least ten beer cans spread on it. She glanced back at him, her hair was pulled into a loose ponytail, and smiled, "Hello, brother."

"Explain to me. Why. Are. We. Here." He gritted out, throwing all politeness out the window.

Morgana looked slightly irritated for a second, before a tired, annoyed, but slightly amused voice cut her off, "Damn, you are a prat. I have no idea why you are in my flat."

Arthur glanced to the doorway to the hallway, which was placed directly in between the living room and kitchen, where Merlin stood, a hand on the back of his neck, exposing his tattoos, looking amused. He wore grey sweatpants, hung low on his lips, and a blue t-shirt that shifted to expose his muscular abdomen. His hair was messy as if he had just woken up, but his eyes said he had been awake for awhile longer.

"If I remember correctly, princess," and Arthur wasn't sure where he had gotten that damn nickname, "it was your idea to come over here. We said we were gonna continue drinking back at our place and invited you and Morgana, but before we could even finish asking, you were already yelling for a cab to take us back here."

"Doesn't sound like me. Don't believe you." He announced stubbornly.

"You know, it's a good thing he's not horrible looking or he'd never get a date," Merlin muttered, heading towards the kitchen to grab a bottled water out of the fridge. Arthur flushed, unsure to take it as a compliment or an insult, "Anyways, Morgana, we have this tradition where we go out and get Steak 'N' Shake after a late night. Helps with the hangover and all. Do you want to go?"

Morgana blushed and glanced over to Arthur. Arthur looked annoyed.

Merlin sighed, running a hand through his hair. "If he absolutely must, I suppose you can bring him."

"Gee, thanks." Arthur deadpanned.

"Shut up." Merlin smirked at him.

"We'd love to!" Morgana smiled and so did Arthur and Arthur again found himself holding back vomit.

And that is how Arthur found himself piled into the back of a car with Morgana basically on Merlin's lap, Gwen on Lancelot's, Will sitting in the front seat passenger seat and Gwaine driving. Arthur hadn't gotten around to asking what had happened to Leon or the big bloke with the huge arms because he was too busy seething over the fact that he was pressed up against his newfound enemy. When they finally got there, they ended up piling into a too small booth, but Merlin was sitting across from him, so he was at least a good two or three feet away from Arthur and that made him feel a whole lot better.

"Hello, my name is Lisa and I'll be your waitress today. Can I start you out with a few drinks?"

Gwaine looked up to order, but then his eyes caught ahold of the petite brunette and his smile stretched even wider, "Well, fuck me. Merlin, I'll go last," he said with a final wink.

Merlin rolled his eyes, but smiled up at her, "I'll just have water. No lemon."

"I'll have the same." Morgana, who was sitting beside Merlin, ordered.

"Water. With lemon." He glared across at the table at Merlin, as if he was challenging him.

Merlin rolled his eyes, mouthing something to himself, before nudging Will awake, who only lifted his head from his folded arms long enough to order before promptly going back to sleep.

When she finally took Lancelot, Gwen, and Morgana, who had somehow become best and fast friends with Gwen in the last twelve hours, Gwaine gave her his most charming smile, "Surprise me."

The girl looked slightly interested in his looks, but mostly uncomfortable, and was glancing at Arthur every few minutes, "So water then?"

Merlin beamed as Gwaine snarled. The girl smiled, flashing a wink at Arthur as she turned away. That got Merlin into a rolling fit, leaning forward as he snickered, his eyes crinkling in the corners and his teeth white and straight and Arthur noticed it was kind of wonderful looking. He looked away, refusing to acknowledge there was anything good about Merlin.

"Shut up, Merlin," Gwaine frowned and looked down at his menu.

"Looks like you finally met your match," Merlin wheezed out.

"That's only one girl who wants his nuts and not mine," Arthur was blushing at this point, but Gwaine continued to ramble on, "There's still plenty more out there for me."

"Actually," Lancelot said, since his wife was far too busy talking animatedly with Morgana, "it seemed like Arthur had more girls hitting on him last night than you, Gwaine."

_"Hey, you want to dance?" She was quite beautiful, with brilliant eyes and a soft smile, and her hand was wrapped around his bicep, yanking him to the dance floor, where Merlin was dancing with some blonde. _

Arthur had been zoning out or something because Merlin was chuckling, "You really did black out, didn't you, mate?"

The waitress came back and set down their drinks, saying she'd be back in a second to take their orders.

"Shut up. Where are you even from? You keep using words like mate and flat and even arse. It's weird."

Merlin's eyes clouded over dangerously, "I'm from Wales, you ass."

Arthur frowned and the waitress chose that exact moment to show up to take the order. Gwen and Lancelot split something, which wasn't all that surprising because they seemed like they would be that sort of couple. Gwaine ordered a cheeseburger, Merlin a salad because he was incredibly peculiar like that, and Will ordered the greasiest thing on the menu.

Morgana and Arthur had chosen the sliders, both plain, because they had been raised in the same way and Morgana shifted so she could see Merlin better, "So, Merlin, what do you do?"

Merlin glanced up, "Like for a living?"

His sister threw Arthur a look before he could open his mouth to say a sarcastic comment, so he bit it back and she nodded.

"I bartend on week nights. And I'm taking classes at NYU," he thanked the waitress as she set down their food, popping a fry of Gwaine's into his mouth.

Will only groaned as he was forced to sit up to eat. Morgana raised an eyebrow at Merlin's answer, "You're in school? For what?"

"Medicine. I'm actually in the Master's program right now. I got my Bachelor's in biology two years ago, but I decided to take a break from school due to…" he looked uncomfortable, "unforeseen circumstances. I just got back into school a couple months ago."

"You have a Bachelor's in biology and you're bartending? How does that make sense?" Arthur knew he should have asked in a polite manner, but he had immediately gotten a job after graduation, working even when he was working on his Master's.

"Well after I graduated, I moved here to be with Freya. We were getting married a few months away and we had just rented a flat and yeah, I had already started applying to jobs around here. But we got into that car accident a few weeks after I moved here and I just, I don't know. I slipped back into what was comfortable, which was bartending," he took another bite of his salad, "and I don't know, now I'm back in school, looking to graduate in a year or two. And I'm doing an internship through my friend Gaius, so everything is falling back into place. How bout you two, what's your life story?"

Arthur watched Merlin pull back into himself and frowned. Sure, his mother had died, but he had been young. He had no idea what it was like to lose someone you love so completely as your fiancée. He held up a hand because one thing confused him, "How do you know them then?"

Merlin looked around at all the people Arthur was pointing to and smiled, "I thought I told you this last night? I grew up with Gwen and Will. Mostly Will. I met Lance in college and we dated the first three years of college. He's from here so we came back to visit his parents a lot. I met Freya when I was here one summer with him. Lance and Gwen met at my graduation party. As for Gwaine, he happened to hit on Freya at a bar and we got into a bit of a fight."

Gwaine laughed at this and threw a hand over the back of Merlin's chair, "And now we're the best of roommates."

"Now stop quizzing me about my life and tell me about yours," He pushed a piece of lettuce around his plate. He was looking at Morgana, so Arthur figured he shouldn't even bother answering.

Morgana, of course, had no problem answering, "Well, where do we start?" she laughed nervously to herself, "Arthur and I are half-siblings. Same father, different mothers. And I have another half-sister, who has the same mom, but different dads. It's all very confusing actually."

"Family reunions must be a blast," Will said. He had finally woken up.

"Well, actually. My mom is dead, and so is Arthur's," Merlin looked up from his salad at this, to look at Arthur. His eyes were unreadable, but he seemed confused, and slightly sympathetic. Arthur glared at him, he didn't need his sympathy, "So it's just our dad. We both grew up in California, but our dad's headquarters got moved so we moved here when I was seventeen, Arthur fourteen. Arthur and I both went to Columbia for our MBAs. Our father didn't give us much of an option when it came to choosing a major…"

Her voice droned out as Arthur stopped paying attention. He had heard the narrated version of his life enough to not care to listen to it anymore. He looked down at his final slider, picking at it, glancing up just to see what everyone was doing and was surprised to find Merlin leaning back in his chair, his salad finished and his arm resting on the back of Gwaine's chair, watching Arthur intently.

His eyes were narrowed, but they weren't at all accusing. Instead, they were understanding and sympathetic. But the moment only lasted, well, a moment. Arthur glanced away, uncomfortable with eye contact that wasn't demanding or intimidated, the only languages he spoke.

The rest of lunch, he ended up learning about the rest of them and found they weren't as a horrible of a group as he originally thought.

Gwaine, twenty-four, was a former marine and a drunk, who knew every single bar and club in the city and who worked there. He hadn't graduated college or even kept a job for longer than a year at a time, but his father was a 'rich bastard', or so he called him, that had left him when he was younger and now felt so bad that he dropped a few grand in his bank account every now and then. He wasn't dating anyone, but he did sleep with anything that moved. He was Merlin's best friend and hilariously outgoing and actually kind of charming once you got past the vulgar language.

Will, twenty-five, lived down the street from Merlin growing up and had graduated Doncaster College with a degree in Accounting the same time Merlin had graduated from the University of South Wales. He had moved to NYC after Freya died to help Merlin cover rent and Gwaine had moved in not soon after. He now worked at Union Settlement Association as an audit manager. He was currently dating a girl named Sefa, who lived in New Jersey so she was barely seen.

Lancelot, twenty-five, had grown up in NYC, but his parents were poor and had sent Lance off to school with all their remaining money so that he could make a better life for himself. He met Merlin in his freshman year because they had lived across the hall from each other and they had taken an instant liking to one another. They dated up until their senior year, where Merlin had admitted to having feelings for Freya, who he had met at a party the summer he came to stay with Lance. Merlin had a graduation party a few weeks before graduation and Merlin had invited Gwen and Lance. They had met and it had been love at first sight and all that stupid stuff Arthur didn't believe in. He now worked as a human resource manager at Praxair, Inc.

Gwen, twenty-seven, had worked with Merlin in their teenage years and remained close friends with him all throughout college. She had stayed home to take care of her dad and done classes online through Cambridge University because apparently she was smart as all get out. She had had a brief fling with Merlin, which ended as quickly as it started, and for no reason at all seemingly. She moved to NYC with Lance once they had gotten engaged, which happened to be two months after they started dating and they had been married six months later. She was a veterinary assistant at a local pet hospital, which made no sense to Arthur because she could get any job she wants with a degree from Cambridge.

And Freya, from what Arthur could gather from the little snippets of information, was something straight out of heaven. She was funny, loving, and a friend to every one of them in the group, even Lance and Gwen approved of her. But that's all Arthur knew because no one would say anything else, not with Merlin sitting three feet away and staring at his empty plate.

They were laughing and giggling and having the time of their lives, hangovers forgotten, by the end of the meal. Morgana clapped her hands together gleefully and smiled, "We should hang out again. All of us."

Gwen beamed back at her, "Absolutely. Here, give me your number."

And that's how everyone ended up passing their phones down the line. Arthur reluctantly gave his phone up, an expensive Tag Heuer Link touchscreen, which Merlin had rolled his eyes at once he saw it, and the rest of them had spent two minutes looking at before programming their numbers in.

When Merlin handed him his phone, a stupid outdated flip phone, Arthur turned it around in his hands. The screensaver was of Merlin and some girl, the sun shining behind them and practically silhouetting their bodies. Merlin had a smile on his face, even as he bent down to kiss the long-haired girl's neck, her head thrown back in laughter, his arms wound around her waist and hers around his neck. They looked happy. He programmed his number under "Your Highness" because fuck Merlin.

When he passed Merlin's phone to Gwen to give to Morgana, she looked down at it and frowned, looking up at Merlin, "Merlin, you need to change your background."

He shook his head, "I don't have any other pictures. It's fine. Hand it to Morgana."

She frowned, but did as he said and Lance rubbed her back.

When Arthur's phone reached Merlin, he looked at Arthur as if questioning him if he really wanted his number and Arthur shrugged, because whatever. Merlin rolled his eyes, but nevertheless programmed his number into his phone.

"That phone is ridiculous," Merlin said as he handed Arthur's phone back.

"Yours is outdated."

"Not all of us can buy $5000 phones, Arthur." He bit back as he stood up, moving with the rest of the group to pay the bill.

"I'm sure getting a smart phone would only cost you $300 at most. That thing," he pointed to the guilty object Merlin was clutching, "is ridiculous."

Arthur pushed past the group, covering the entirety of the bill, which earned him at least a million hugs from the whole group which made Arthur uncomfortable but he accepted it nevertheless.

When the hugging had finished, Gwen even kissing his cheek, and then taking several minutes to say goodbye to his sister and promising to call, Morgana and him called for a taxi

It wasn't even five minutes after Morgana was dropped off at her flat that Arthur's phone buzzed with two texts. The first was from Gwaine, _thanks for dinner man! Let's get a beer soon!_

And surprisingly, the other one was from Merlin, _leave it 2 u program urself as something as stupid as ur highness_

He texted a quick Sure back to Gwaine, then started to type a message back to Merlin to tell him to get over it when another text popped up from him, _Dnt worry, I reprogrammed u as dollophead. All is right in the world._

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	3. Chapter 3

**Here's the next chapter :) A little warning, this is darker than most of the chapters will be! It contains past!character death. So you've been warned :) REVVVIEWWW **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, even though I really really wish I did because Colin Morgan. **

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_Chapter 3 _

_Arthur: What's a dollophead._

_Merlin: Two words?_

The taxi driver pulled in front of his apartment and he paid him respectfully, sending a quick _yeah_ back to Merlin before stepping out of the taxi and fishing out his keys. His phone buzzed with a response, but he refused to check it immediately, waiting until he greeted his dog, a five-year old Bernese Mountain Dog named George. He had been a gift from Morgana because she had said 'no one should ever live completely alone'. Arthur could not for the life of him figure out a good name so he had settled on something stupid like George.

"Wanna go out?" Arthur asked as if the dog could understand, but nevertheless George was wagging his tail and whining so Arthur hooked the leash on his collar and headed downstairs. Once he was standing in the middle of the apartment lawn, his dog making circles around him, he checked his phone.

_Merlin: Arthur Pendragon_

Arthur almost laughed, but then he remembered it was an insult. He shoved his phone in his pocket and thought about not texting back, because he honestly did hate this man. Less than he did when he first met him, but the man was still insufferable.

_Merlin: I shuld thnk u 4 lunch tho_

_Arthur: You're a Pre-Med student. How do you not know how to spell?_

_Merlin: becuz this is a txt msg dollophead, not a term paper_

Arthur laughed and started to type something back equally insulting when George spotted something interesting and took it off towards it, yanking Arthur towards it. The phone slipped through his fingers, flying through the air to land on the grass a few feet away from Arthur. "Fuck, George! Heel!"

George looked back at him with that stupid adorable face and let out a bark, "Hold up, I gotta find my phone."

When Arthur finally did find his phone, a few feet away, he almost had a panic attack because it was damp. He glanced down at his text messages and apparently he had accidently hit send before his phone had flew through the air.

_Arthur: Well your text messages do noegge_

_Merlin: ?_

_Merlin: still drunk?_

_Arthur: No, idiot. My dog made me drop my phone_

_Merlin: u have a dog? u strike me as a cat person._

Arthur tugged George back up the steps and opened the door to his apartment. He released George, motioning for him to go play while he got himself a drink from the kitchen. He grabbed his laptop from the table and sat down on the couch, placing his phone on one side of him and the glass of water on the coffee table in front of him, opening his laptop to start on some work.

_Arthur: A Bernese. Why on earth would I be a cat person?_

Speaking of the devil, George jumped up on the couch beside him, made a quick circle before laying down with his head in Arthur's lap which had Arthur torn between petting him and telling him to get off.

_Merlin: holy fuck me. I love that breed. And because ur a snob, anti-social, mean. Just like cats._

_Arthur: Well I can only assume you have a headlouse as a pet then. Useless and irritating._

_Merlin: actually asshole, I have a dog too. who has a headlouse as a pet?_

He scratched behind George's ear while he opened up his email. He clicked down to a spreadsheet that had some of their potential new employees information on it and scanned through it, looking at their different qualifications to figure out who was best qualified for the job he had set up. God, he hated his job. But it paid the bills and that's what mattered.

_Arthur: I never saw a dog there_

_Merlin: he was at my neighbor's. becuz of the party. He doesn't like a large group of ppl_

_Arthur: A socially inept dog. How fitting. It's probably something stupid like a poodle too, isn't it?_

When he didn't hear back right away, Arthur set his phone down. He stared at his laptop for a good two minutes before he rolled his eyes and shut it because he wasn't going to get anything done at this rate anyways so why try. He lifted his feet onto the coffee table and reclined his head back, feeling George shift to be closer to him. He closed his eyes, just planning on resting for a few minutes before getting up to do something productive, but before he knew it, he drifted off.

Next thing he knew it was dark outside. He sat up, George already gone to sleep in their actual bed. Stretching and yawning simultaneously, he picked his phone up to check the time and his eyes almost bulged out of his head at the 2:36AM flashing at him from his screen. Of course, he had six unread text messages. Two were from his sister, one demanding to get coffee come Monday morning and the other telling him to open her latest email. One was from his father asking if he had finished organizing the reports. Another was from Gwaine, who appeared to be drunkenly thanking Arthur or "princess" for buying his lunch, once again. Who partied two nights back to back anyway? What were they, 21? And the last two were from Merlin. One said, actually a German Shepard thank you, and the next had a picture of said German Shepard.

In all honesty, the dog was actually pretty cute. It was a picture of him and Merlin laying on the couch. Merlin had his long legs stretched out on the length of the couch and he was wearing a white t-shirt and black sweatpants and the dog was quite literally laying on top of him with his head on Merlin's chest.

He didn't text back, didn't feel the need to, and instead stood to head towards his bedroom. George was already at the foot of the bed, curled up and sound asleep. Arthur stripped his shirt and pants, leaving him in only his boxers, and slipped underneath the covers. He was out before he knew it.

* * *

Merlin didn't get home until long after two in the morning, for the second night in a row he might add, but that was to be expected when you had a roommate like Gwaine. Kilgharrah was waiting on him right inside the door as Merlin hauled a very drunk Gwaine into the apartment.

"Move, boy. I gotta get good ol' uncle Gwaine to bed," He said as he kicked the door shut behind him, his arm on Gwaine's waist as Gwaine turned to him, a cheeky smile on his face and said, "Thanks for da help, mate."

Merlin nodded, giving him his best sunshine smile as they moved towards Gwaine's bedroom. Merlin groaned as he dropped Gwaine onto the bed, Gwaine immediately rolling onto his back and throwing an arm over his eyes.

"I'm just going to get you some water, okay?"

"She was good looking, wasn't she?" Gwaine said just as Merlin reached the door.

Merlin assumed he was speaking of the blonde with the huge eyes that had been hanging off his arm for the majority of the night, "Yeah, mate. She was."

"She was something, cute eyes," Gwaine said drunkenly as he propped himself up on his elbows to peer at Merlin, "Did I get her number?"

Before Merlin could even respond, he fell back on the bed, laughing to himself, "I'll call her tomorrow. Okay?"

Merlin smiled, "Okay."

He disappeared into the kitchen, patting Killi on the side as he went, and grabbed a bottle of water and two aspirin. By the time he got back to the bedroom, Gwaine was sound asleep, snoring as always. He set the objects on his nightstand, shot one last smile back at his friend before going to lock up the apartment.

Once he was in bed, he checked his phone one more time to see if Morgana or her evil, but stupidly handsome, brother had texted back. When he saw that neither of them had, he frowned. Of course, the last message he had sent to Morgana had been a simple _okay :) _so it was no surprise that she hadn't answered. He quickly pulled up a blank text to Morgana and started texting.

_Merlin: Let's get dinner this week. On me. Sound good? _

With that, he turned his phone off because tomorrow was Sunday and Sunday was made for sleeping.

He leaned his head back onto the pillow, Kilgharrah curled up at his feet. Closing his eyes, he thought back to this weekend and the two very interesting people that had come into it, well three if you count Leon, but Leon had left to return to his wife as soon as the clock had struck eleven.

If he was being honest with himself, both siblings were horribly attractive. Morgana was wonderful, if not a little intimidating, and she came on a bit strong, but Merlin had never had a problem with that before. There had been a moment at the club the night before where she had leaned up and pressed her mouth against his. He had had a slight anxiety attack over it because her brother was dancing less than five feet away and he was not about to deal with an overprotective brother. But when he had glanced over, Arthur had been dancing with some girl, his eyes fogged over in a drunken haze, so Merlin had let her continue kissing him. They were both drunk and it had felt good, but Merlin felt guilty. Arthur clearly didn't like him, didn't enjoy being around him, so he doubted Arthur wanted him dating his sister.

Nevertheless, after texting him and watching Arthur pay for lunch, Merlin had decided Arthur wasn't completely awful, even if he was an absolute prat. He was just a spoiled, famous, rich asshole that didn't know how to associate with normal people and really, he couldn't be blamed for that. Plus he was fun to banter with. So Merlin had hope that maybe Arthur wouldn't mind him dating Morgana because Morgana was pretty and had beautiful dark hair and green eyes.

Merlin smiled to himself before he passed out.

_It was raining heavily, the roads were full of puddles and the sky was so black you couldn't even see five feet in front of you without headlights. It was really quite an awful night, weather-wise, but that didn't faze the two people driving home in it. One was smiling quite happily to herself, humming along to the radio and occasionally singing out loud, while the other just listened with a smile._

_"May I hold youu as you fall to sleeep, when the world is closing in and you can't breathhheee," she was drumming one hand on her lap, the other clutched tightly his on top of the stick shift. She glanced over at him, just to watch him, to already find him staring at her, "What?"_

_"Nothing," he laughed, looking back at the road, "Just admiring you, that's all."_

_She laughed, throwing her head back in that wonderful way she always did, "You are such a cheeseball."_

_He smiled, squeezing her hand, "Only for you."_

_"Thank you for coming to my parents' tonight. They adore you, you know?" She was watching him and he occasionally glanced over to her. _

_"Well, who doesn't?"_

_She smiled and leaned forward to press a kiss to his cheek, her hand that held his engagement ring around his neck. He smiled at the feel of the metal against his skin, a reassurance of their commitment. _

_Then suddenly, Merlin was outside the car at the base of the hill, powerless to watch as the car started to lose traction and the driver struggled to correct it. He slammed his brakes on, the breaks locking, and his car now going into a full slide, turning sideways. _

_Merlin could only watch the two people's expressions, one angry and slightly panicked, the other's mouth open in a silent scream as they hit the ditch at such a right angle that the car flipped, landing on its side and rolling twice before landing right – side up. His legs were frozen, powerless to run._

_A van suddenly pulled to the side of the road and two people scrambled out of the car. The driver, a man, was already running down the hill, screaming, "Michelle, call an ambulance!"_

_The woman was shaking, standing at the top of the hill with the phone pressed against her ear and her hand in front of her mouth. Merlin watched as the man, now at the bottom of the hill, shined his phone in the driver's side, the man's hazy blue eyes barely focused on him. The man stood back at the sight of those eyes, "Oh my gosh! Michelle, they're alive! They're alive!"_

_Michelle straightened up at that, still talking to the 9-1-1 operator, "Yes. They're alive, just badly injured I think. We saw them flip at least once. Keep talking to them? Okay," she covered the mouthpiece with a dainty hand, and yelled down to the man, "They said keep talking to them. Keep them awake. Don't let them fall asleep!"_

_The man nodded and Merlin watched as the driver struggled to make conversation with the man shining a light in his eye. At some point, the driver finally turned around to look at his passenger and suddenly a hysterical scream tore from his throat, just as an ambulance's sirens could be heard racing down the street._

_The man was fighting now to keep the other man calm, and Merlin felt a small sob catch in his throat as he watched the driver tear at his seat belt, trying his best to claw across the seat to her, "Oh my god, no, wake up. Please wake up!"_

_Four paramedics raced down the ditch, carrying two stretchers as both a cop car and a fire truck pulled up next to them. One paramedic wrenched the door open, and suddenly Merlin found himself sitting in the driver's place, his head throbbing and his arm shooting white hot pain up and down his arm. He looked at the paramedic, a man with dark red hair and gentle, determined eyes, who was trying to restrain him. He yanked back, confused out of his mind, before he heard the passenger door being pried open and shouting voices. He looked over to his right and his heart stopped._

_Her hair was tangled, bloody, and a giant gash had opened up on her forehead. Her head was slumped forward, until her chin rested on her chest. Small pieces of glass were embedded in different parts of her face and arms. One hand, that bore his grandmother's ring, was laying limply by the stick shift. _

_"Freya?" He called hoarsely, his voice cracking. And then the full effect of what happened hit him and he screamed, tears pricking his eyes as he realized what just happened, "Freya! Please someone help her, please! Freya! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god."_

_The paramedic was trying to put a neck brace on him, but Merlin pushed him away with what little strength he had and pulled himself out of the car. Somewhere he could hear a faint beeping, whether it be in his head or from the radio in the car, and he watched as the people carrying Freya's stretcher, with her strapped in already, a neck brace and oxygen mask in place, started to climb the hill. He tried to follow, but his strength left him, and he collapsed to his knees. The paramedic was behind him at once, holding him down and telling him to lay still. The beeping grew slower and slower. _

_"Freya! Please! I have to see her! Please let me go! Please!" He tried ripping away from the man's grip, but the hands stayed steady on his back. Michelle was standing at the top of the hill with the man that had rescued him, her face streaked in tears. The beeping was slower._

_"Sir, you have to stay calm!" _

_Merlin yanked around to look at him, the beeping even slower than before, "Will she be okay!? Please, please tell me. She's my fiancée!"_

_"I can't know until we get you both to the hospital, sir. Now please, lay back." _

_The beeping slowed and there was a shaky breath that wasn't Merlin's or the paramedic's. And the beeping flat lined._

Merlin sat up, screaming as a sob tore from his throat. He hunched forward, ignoring Killi's whines, and pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes, desperately trying to calm himself. Always the same damn nightmare.

His bedroom light suddenly flickered on, Will standing in his doorway in nothing but sweatpants. He looked tired, but not upset, "Bad dream?"

Merlin nodded and a tear slipped down his cheek. He didn't mind crying in front of Will. Will had always been there for him and had seen him cry plenty of times. Will sank down into the mattress beside him, "What was it this time? Funeral, hospital or car crash? Or maybe even the one with the Muppets?"

Merlin tried his best to smile at Will's joke, but it didn't work and instead he nodded, "Car crash."

Will nodded, stroking behind Killi's ear absentmindedly, "I'm sorry, man."

Merlin nodded, and turned to look at Will, who was watching him intently, "it's been two years. Two years and I still can't forget it."

Will shook his head, placing a heavy hand on his friend's shoulder, "Things will get easier one day, brother. Now are you ready to go back to sleep or do you wanna stay up and play some Call of Duty?"

Merlin laughed, never feeling more thankful for his best friend than right now, "Definitely the second one."

Will smiled, standing up and fixing Merlin with his meanest look, "Just because you had a nightmare, don't think I'm going to go easy on you."

"Never."

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	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Okay, so here's chapter 4, where we can really start to see Arthur being drawn to Merlin. I did want to justify a few things first though. For one, in case you haven't noticed, Merlin smokes in every single one of my stories. I don't know why but I have a thing for men smoking, especially Colin Morgan in Parked. So just excuse that. Second, I know I made it seem like Merlin had all these friends and Arthur had very few, but I am trying to follow the original relationships from the TV show. If you think about it, all of the main characters minus Uther, Morgana, Leon, and maybe Gaius (even though he's closer to Merlin now), were friends of Merlin's first. That's what I tried to explain by the Merlin vortex. Merlin usually saves someones life, they end up becoming friends, and then are eventually knighted by Arthur. So, it's not that Arthur isn't popular in this story, it's just Merlin is more popular haha. **

**Anyways, please please please review. I don't feel like I'm getting any at all and its very discouraging and hard to continue this story.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, even though I really really wish I did because Colin Morgan. **

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_Chapter 4_

Arthur had been in the midst of a dreamless, but nevertheless successful sleep when his alarm blared at seven in the morning. He groaned, but didn't press snooze. Never, ever press snooze. He sat up, stretching and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He grabbed his phone off the nightstand, switching it on and of course, the only notifications he had were emails and a few business texts, nothing from friends.

He glanced over a few of the work emails, but decided most of them could wait. He stood up and quickly changed into his running shorts and a white V-neck. He made a quick smoothie, being the health nut he was, and leaned up against the counter to scroll through his contacts to text Morgana about that Monday coffee when he passed Merlin's name. He remembered receiving the text message about that German Shepard, but never responding.

_Arthur: A German Shepard really? Tattoos, leather jackets, all black, and a German Shepard? Are you trying to go for the badass look because it's not working_

George let out a low whine from his place by the door and Arthur pushed himself off the counter, "Sorry, bud. I'll feed you."

Once George was fed and his smoothie was finished, Arthur quickly hooked a leash to his dog and pulled him out the door. He made sure to lock the door behind him and jogged down the stairs to start his morning stretch. He picked a Pandora station to listen to and then started down the sidewalk at a light jog.

Arthur and George had their usual route and they never really deviated from it. They would always jog down to the store a few miles away, pick up a bagel, sit on the sidewalk and eat together, then they would jog to the dog park, which was only two miles away at most, and take a break on that bench by the oak tree together. George would occasionally run after a few dogs, but then would come to sit by the bench and pant obnoxiously for at least ten minutes. On weekdays, Arthur would call a taxi to take them back to his apartment so he wouldn't be late for work, but on weekends, Arthur and George usually made the track back to his apartment on foot.

They stopped and got their bagel, the girl behind the counter greeting him in her usual, "Good morning Arthur! Nice out today, isn't it?" regardless of the weather and they sat on the curb side to eat before taking off towards the dog park. It was a decent enough park, with its green hills overlooking a pond, and Arthur had never really ventured out to look at different parks.

Arthur didn't really expect to see more than two dogs in the park at eight in the morning, so he was a bit surprised to see four dogs chasing after each other. He opened the latch to the gate, glancing over to make sure his bench was open and it was, thank God, so there would be no problems there. He released George off his leash and watched as the dog barked happily and took off after the other dogs. He made his way to the bench and sat down, stretching out his long legs in front of him.

Of the four dogs, two of them were shih tzus, one was a golden retriever, and the other a German Shepard. George trailed happily after the golden retriever and German Shepard, who seemed to be an adequate job of ignoring the two smaller dogs. An older woman and man sat on the bench farthest away from Arthur, their hands curled together and looking adorable as ever, though Arthur would never admit to it. He assumed the two small dogs belonged to them.

A girl was sitting on the ground near one of the trees, looking no older than nineteen and messing around on her phone.

Arthur didn't really see anyone else so he assumed she owned both of the bigger dogs. That was until the German Shepard took off after someone that was climbing up the bottom of the hill. And Arthur should have known. He really should. The clues were right there, he just had to connect them.

The German was jumping frantically at its leather-jacket clad owner, letting out a whine as his owner dropped to his knees to pet him, "Down, boy. Down!"

And Arthur knew that voice. Fuck.

_Merlin_

The idiot still seemed completely oblivious to Arthur. On top of that, George was making his way towards Merlin and Merlin outstretched his hand for him to sniff, which George ignored and barreled straight into Merlin's side, knocking him over. Merlin laughed, that stupidly wonderful grin on his face, and rubbed George's head. And really, it was like the world was out to make sure Arthur was never happy. And then it hit Arthur that Merlin had the nerve to ignore his text message and really, how dare him.

Arthur took out his phone, scrolling to his text messages and deciding he was going to fuck with Merlin's head since Merlin was fucking with Arthur's life.

_Arthur: You're ignoring me. _

Arthur glanced up from underneath his golden fringe to watch as Merlin pulled out his phone, sitting on the ground where he was, getting his jeans dirty. He seemed to contemplate his phone for a second, before Arthur could see him texting back.

_Merlin: sry ur highness. Was busy_

Arthur thought about getting George and leaving, but for one, George was playing with Merlin's dog directly beside Merlin so Merlin would see him. He thought maybe about waiting for Merlin to leave and then leaving so Merlin wouldn't see him, but that wasn't going to happen because Arthur's bench was directly by the gate. So really, his only option was just to acknowledge Merlin. Fuck it, might as well rip the Band-Aid off quick and easy.

_Arthur: You shouldn't sit on the ground. Your jeans will get dirty. Also, you're distracting my dog._

Merlin's head immediately shot up and Arthur snorted. Merlin's eyes were moving around the entire park until they finally settled on Arthur by the gate. There was a second where they just stared at each other before Merlin threw his head back and laughed. He stood up, brushing off his pants and fuck, he was walking towards Arthur now.

Arthur looked down at his feet and flinched as Merlin came to stand in front of him.

"Are you stalking me, Arthur Pendragon?"

Well that did it. Arthur glared at him, "No. Actually, I come here every morning. If anyone is stalking, it's you. And what the hell are you doing up? You strike me as a person who doesn't know what anything before noon looks like."

Merlin grinned and his eyes crinkled and Arthur hated him. Merlin moved to sit on the bench beside him, crossing his legs so his ankle rested on his knee, "I'll have you know I've been up for awhile. I couldn't sleep."

Merlin's dog ran up to Merlin, dropping a ball he had found somewhere in front of them. Merlin smiled, rubbing his ears affectionately and picking it up. Arthur would admit the dog was beautiful and seemingly sweet. Merlin handed the ball to Arthur, who stared at it like he had never seen it before. Merlin smiled, "This is Kilgharrah. Killi for short. Here. He wants you to throw it."

Arthur frowned at Merlin, who just beamed back because he's an idiot, and took the ball. Killi pranced in front of him impatiently, George sitting a few feet away. He threw the ball somewhere down the hill and both dogs disappeared after it.

"I'm assuming that's your dog you were talking about," Arthur nodded in response and Merlin turned back to look at them, "He's beautiful. How old is he?"

"Five," Then added, just for the sake of conversation, "How old is Killi?"

"Almost three. He's Freya's dog technically," Merlin stated, a hint of sadness behind his voice. Freya, his dead fiancée, right. The one that Merlin continued to talk about on the daily and the one that Arthur felt very uncomfortable discussing, "I mean, we got him together when he was a puppy, but he lived with her while I was finishing up school."

"Oh," because Arthur didn't really know what else to say.

Merlin turned his head to the left to look at him and tried to smile for what it's worth, "I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. Me talking about her."

"No, it's not that," Arthur glanced down at his hands and then back up at the two dogs chasing after each other, "I just never know what to say."

"You don't really have to say anything," Merlin smiled, "I just talk to talk sometimes."

"Just to hear your own voice, right?"

Merlin laughed, throwing his head back, "Yeah, exactly like that. Anyway, what are you doing here this early?"

Off in the distance, the dogs were chasing each other, seemingly enamored with each other unlike their owners. The old couple stood to leave. Arthur looked back at Merlin, watching as Merlin dug around in his pockets and finally pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He placed one in between his lips, held the lighter up, looking at Arthur as if he was still expecting him to answer his question.

"You smoke?"

"What? Oh. Uh, yeah. Trying to quit," he shrugged, lighting it up and taking a long drawl, "want one?"

Arthur raised an eyebrow, "We're not allowed to smoke in the park. It's against the rules."

"I'm not very good at listening to others or even following rules for that matter. Besides, I'm sure all of the, I don't know, _two_ people in here won't mind," he again held out the pack to Arthur, "live a little. Break the rules."

Arthur finally grabbed one; they were Camel Menthols, Arthur's least favorite because it felt like smoking toothpaste, but beggars can't be choosers. Merlin raised an eyebrow as he shoved them back into his pocket and handed Arthur the lighter, "I was expecting you to say 'no'. I would never peg you as a smoker."

"I'm not," He said as he raised the cigarette to his lips and Merlin laughed at the irony, "Shut up, _Mer_lin. I'm a social smoker. But I don't smoke daily or really on my own that much. Just when I'm stressed."

"Aren't you stressed like all the time? I mean, you're the CEO of one of the biggest businesses in New York."

Arthur shrugged, "It's not so bad."

"I don't believe you. I saw a picture of your dad, he looks old as hell and he's only like, what, fifty-three?"

"You really are the definition of polite, you know. He's fifty-seven. Did you google me?" Arthur turned and gave a smug grin. He flicked some of the ash onto the ground below him.

Killi barked somewhere in the distance, "No, you ass, I read an article about your dad in _Time_ magazine awhile back."

"Suuuuure," Arthur and Merlin both laughed at that before settling into a pleasant silence.

Arthur was just finishing his cigarette when Merlin finally spoke up and when Arthur turned to look at him, he had his head bowed and playing nervously with a fray on his jeans, "Listen, I asked your sister out on a date."

"Oh yeah?" Well good for Morgana then.

"I hope that's okay," Merlin shifted uneasily and he was blushing pretty badly. Arthur wanted to hit him and tell him to quit worrying, that he doesn't care, "I mean, I don't know. We didn't get off to a good start, what with you being a pompous ass and all, but I do like her. She's nice…and I don't mean any bad by her, I'm not going to…_you know_…with her. I wouldn't, I m-"

"Merlin."

"Yeah?"

"Do shut up."

Merlin seemed to ease up at that and laughed, leaning back again, "Yes, your highness."

"I don't care if you date my sister. You don't have to ask my permission."

"I'm polite, remember?"

Arthur laughed. Really when it came down to it, Merlin wasn't _completely_ awful. He was sarcastic and sometimes annoying, but he was also kind of funny, good-natured, easy to joke with and mostly kind of great. He had no doubt Merlin would be good for Morgana and he would be one of the more handsome men Morgana had dated, even though Arthur would never admit to that.

Merlin was standing up, whistling for his dog, when he turned back to Arthur, "Do you wanna get lunch or something?"

The two dogs came bouncing over the hill, Killi in front with George happily trailing behind. Killi slid to a stop in front of Merlin and let out a low bark, before whining. Merlin smiled, hooking his leash on. George stood expectantly in front of Arthur.

"Uh, sure. Where?" Arthur stood and clipped George's leash on.

Merlin shrugged, "We can stop somewhere that will let us eat outside with the dogs. Oi! There's a really good Chinese takeout place by my apartment. It's walking distance to my flat, we can have a cab take us there and walk back."

"Ok," Said, Arthur.

And once again, Arthur found himself stuffed into the backseat of a taxi with Merlin, except now, they had two very large, panting dogs sprawled across their laps. Merlin was chatting happily with the taxi driver, no surprise there since Merlin was anything but shy or quiet. Once they got to the Chinese restaurant, which was located on a small street a few blocks away from Merlin's apartment, Merlin pulled out his phone to call Gwaine and Will to see if they wanted anything. Arthur offered to pay yet again, but with a sarcastic "I'm not a charity case, prat," Merlin had left Arthur outside with the dogs and disappeared into the building to order their food.

Killi let out a small whine, leaning his head back to look at Arthur. Arthur smiled, crouching down and scratching between his ears, "Don't ever tell Merlin I said this, but you're pretty damn cute, you know that? That feel good?"

Killi barked back and George whined. Arthur reached a second hand up to pet George as he continued to scratch Killi, "You guys are spoiled. Good thing you guys get along, I have a feeling you'll be seeing each other a lot with Morgana and your daddy," he smiled at Killi, "you're lucky I like you. Yes, I do, I do. Otherwise I wouldn't put up with your owner. No, I wouldn't."

There was a low snicker behind him and Arthur swung around to find Merlin standing with a large paper bag in one hand and another covering his mouth as he giggled. Arthur glared, but Merlin just beamed back, "Did you just use a baby voice on my dog?"

"No."

Merlin came to stand next to him and took the leash for his dog, nodding his head towards the left, "It's this way. And you definitely were and don't believe for one second that I won't tease you about it every chance I get."

Arthur deadpanned, while Merlin chuckled to himself and headed down the sidewalk. It wasn't too busy, seeing as how it was nine in the morning on a Sunday.

The silence went on until they had already passed three blocks, before Arthur decided, just in the sake of being polite, he would strike up a conversation, "Do you like living in New York?"

Merlin shrugged, and took a drawl of the cigarette he had lit up a few minutes ago, "It's okay. I mean I always dreamed of living somewhere like Colorado or something, you know? I would have this nice little house at the base of a mountain and I would have this one room where one of the walls was just pure glass and it would overlook the lake with the mountains in the backdrop. I could put like a couch in there and sit and watch the sunrise every morning with a cup of coffee. That's my dream. I don't know, it's stupid. I just don't like how crowded this place is sometimes."

It actually didn't sound stupid. It sounded amazing. Arthur had grown up in the California, in a huge beach house. He had moved to New York then, in a ridiculously expensive house that overlooked the East River. Everyone in the business world knew his name and they, along with his father, had high expectations of him. Sometimes it was too much, sometimes it felt like he was being crushed, and sometimes, he thought about running away to the country. So it didn't sound like a stupid dream at all. It sounded like everything Arthur had dreamed of, glass wall and all.

"One day," Merlin said.

"It's not stupid, for what it's worth," Arthur offered.

"Thanks. It's just the city is great and all, but I'm not like you. It isn't my natural habitat."

Arthur frowned and his eyebrows knitted together.

Merlin glanced over and his face turned concerned, "What?"

"Just because I was raised here doesn't mean I don't dream about leaving," and that's all Arthur really could say. He wasn't an open book like Merlin and his friends. This conversation was already much deeper than Arthur had originally intended for it to be.

Merlin seemed to sense his discomfort and shrugged, "Well one day, maybe you can leave too. Anyway, we're here."

Arthur nodded and jogged up the stairs to Merlin's apartment. Once they got inside, Merlin set the food on the island and Arthur released both dogs, who took off running into the living room and jumped on the couch opposite of a very upset looking Gwaine and a very annoyed looking Percival.

"Food's here!" Merlin yelled until Arthur elbowed him in the side and Merlin glanced up, his face turning from confused to concerned, "Gwaine?"

Gwaine shifted his head from where it was laying on the back of the couch to look at Merlin, "She gave me a fake number, bro. It's the _twenty-first_ century and she gave me a fake number."

Percival moved to pat his friend on the shoulder, "She wasn't right for you, man."

"Yes she was, she's a _girl_," Gwaine groaned, rolling his head back.

Merlin smirked and handed a plate from the cupboard to Arthur. They took their turns dishing out their share of food and Arthur moved to the couch, pushing the dogs off so he could sit facing Gwaine and Percy. Merlin handed a plate to both of them before he got his own and sat down next to Arthur.

"If it's any consolation, mate, I didn't find her that attractive," Merlin piped up, taking a bite of the fried rice.

Gwaine proceeded to lift his head to stare at Merlin, who just gave him a cheeky grin, "Shut up, Merlin."

"You seem to get that a lot," Arthur laughed and that got Gwaine to smile a little.

Killi sat at Arthur's feet and whined. Arthur reached out to give her a piece of his orange chicken before Merlin grabbed his hand, shook his head and mouthed, 'no human food'.

"Ugh," Gwaine groaned again.

"Tell you what, mate, come to work with me tomorrow night. We'll find you another girl," Merlin offered.

"Says the one who went off on me when I tried to take a girl home," Arthur mumbled to which Merlin shot him a glare

Their small banter seemed to be doing wonders on Gwaine's mood, who now watched them with interest and munched away happily. It also seemed to have alerted him on Arthur's presence, "Princess. I've missed you."

"It's been less than a day, Gwaine."

"That is true, isn't it?" Gwaine laughed as Percy jumped in, "Oh no, you've fallen into the Merlin vortex!"

"Merlin vortex?"

"This charming little fucker keeps bringing in all the strays," Gwaine winked at Merlin, "Ergo, me and Percy."

"Percy was brought in by Lancelot, not me," Merlin reasoned, "and now he's your best friend, so I can hardly be blamed for that disaster."

At first, Arthur thought Merlin was being serious, but then Percy laughed and flipped Merlin off. Merlin beamed back and Arthur felt a sudden pang of jealousy. He had never had friends like this. He had Leon, but Leon was busy being Leon and all, and even then, he was a serious personality and didn't joke around like this. For once, he felt lighthearted and not weighed down by the expectations and serious discussions.

"You are the one that's dated half of the friend group," Arthur pointed out.

Gwaine threw back his head and laughed, joined by Percy, who seemed to find it absolutely hysterical. Merlin just frowned, "Oi! I dated two of them. _Two_."

"Anyways, the Merlin vortex goes like this. You meet in some kind of troubling situation, one of you saves the other. Normally. He offers to talk, or get lunch or hangout, you get talking, you realize he's not only funny as hell, but he's also kind of wise. Without knowing it, you find yourself hanging with him every single day, until eventually, whenever someone mentions him, you find yourself thinking that he is just the bee's knees," he held up his hands, gesturing to Percy and himself, "and then, bam, you're in this magical friend group. It's completely unavoidable, my friend, and it looks like you've already been sucked into it."

"You guys are all acting like it's a bad thing," Merlin frowned.

"Not bad, amusing, but not bad," Percy reassured and Merlin smiled back.

"This Merlin vortex sounds like a death sentence," Arthur stated quite simply because Arthur knew already he was no exception to the magical pull that Merlin had to him. Arthur had seen enough of this group to know that Merlin was the glue to this group, even if some of them wouldn't admit it. All of them were friends because of Merlin. Lance and Gwen had dated Merlin, Freya had been engaged to Merlin, Will was Merlin's childhood best friend, Gwaine he had met in a fight, and now, even Arthur himself was brought in by Merlin. Merlin was the center and gravity of the whole friend group, Arthur was not blind to that.

He glanced over at Merlin, who was still eating happily and not giving a single shit about anything at the moment. Despite all his annoying qualities, Merlin was magnetic. And Arthur was jealous of that, that he had such a natural popularity to him that wasn't from money.

"Fuck."

Because Arthur was definitely stuck in this damn vortex.

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**REVIEW. Please! i need the encouragment. Long reviews are my favorite ;) but i'm not picky. Love you alllll. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: LOVED ALL THE REVIEWS :)) YOU GUYS RULE! Here's chapter 5 as promised! OKay, this chapter is very little to do with "present" time and more "past" time. I wanted to reveal a little more about Merlin's past from a different perspective and I will continue to do so. I also wanted to apologize to the Arthur fanatics, this story will have some of his backdrop, but the story is mostly going to be Merlin centered because I am a huge Merlin fan. I'm trying to balance it, but as you can see, I keep gravitating to Merlin. It's like second nature. **

**ALSO. IMPORTANT. Is anyone interested in making a youtube trailer for me!? I would loooooooove it if someone could. I just would like to see a trailer come out of this. So please PLEASE PLEASE. private message me if you want to. You'd be my best friend :))**

**KEEP UP THE REVIEWS :))) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, even though I really really wish I did because Colin Morgan. **

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_Chapter 5_

In all honesty, it made perfect sense for Gwen to become best friends with Morgana. God bless Merlin, but he could never quite nail the girl talk aspect of their friendship, and neither could Lancelot. And besides Sefa, who rarely visited, Gwen was the only girl in the group since Freya had died so it made perfect sense that when Morgana had come along, Gwen had flocked to her.

And really, they were quite perfect together. Every other day, since the day they had met, they would meet up on their lunch breaks and eat at a quaint little coffee shop in between two strip malls and talk about their jobs, beliefs, childhoods and so on. Their waiter, a boy named Mordred who looked no older than a sophomore in college and had unruly black curls, would flirt with them merciless and they would giggle over it because really, he was _adorable_.

Gwen was quite fond of the whole experience. Because when it came down to it, Gwen was lonely. Lancelot was busy at work and while he was a wonderful husband, better than Gwen could have ever imagined, he was tired when he came back from work and preferred to relax instead of talking about the details of their day. Merlin was busy juggling school and bartending, Gwaine was busy being Gwaine, and she had never been very close to Will or Percival. Will was a bit of an ass and Percival was just strangely quiet. Arthur was a bit of a spoiled brat, but they got on alright based on the two times they had talked, he was just always swamped with work.

It was a Friday, exactly a week after they had expanded their friend group, when Gwen was on her way to meet Morgana at the coffee shop. Upon arrival, she was surprised to notice that instead of just Morgana at their usual table, her brother was sitting next to her. Both of them looked ridiculously posh, as Merlin would have said had he been there. Morgana was wearing a black, form fitting, knee-length, strapless dress with a tight black business jacket over it. Her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, black eyeliner thick and perfect as always. Her lips were painted red and she wore red six-inch heels. Her brother wore similar colors, his black suit pants and suit jacket were perfectly tailored to fit him and he wore an expensive red shirt underneath, the first two buttons undone.

Together, they made a frightening team. Gwen subconsciously smoothed her hands over her plain yellow sundress, which she had paired with a brown belt and short brown cowboy boots.

Morgana's face broke out in a smile as Gwen approached the table and she stood to give her friend a hug, "Gwen! How are you?"

Gwen smiled and pulled her chair back, "I'm great. I wasn't expecting to see you, Arthur. I mean, not that I'm not glad to see you. I am. It's just a surprise, that's all. Not a bad one," she was blushing by the end of it because Lancelot was wonderful, but Arthur was plain gorgeous and why had Morgana had to bring him along.

He laughed, and even his laugh was perfect, "Well Morgana told me I needed to take a break."

"He overworks himself," She stated simply, folding her napkin in her lap like the polite person she was, "It frustrates me."

"Like father like son."

"He's really a shining example to live by," Morgana rolled her eyes and then turned back to Gwen, "How was work?"

She shrugged, "It was okay. We had a litter of kittens come in today. Someone just left them outside a store, can you believe that? Just these little, helpless kittens, abandoned, just like that. We're rehoming them if either of you want one."

Morgana looked thoughtful, her red lip between her teeth, but Arthur shook his head, "I'm not a cat person."

Gwen tilted her head, "Really? That's surprising to me."

His eyebrows knitted together and he seemed frustrated for a second, "Merlin said the same thing."

Mordred came to take their order and threw one look at Arthur and a disappointed look crossed his eyes. When he had finished taking their order, he placed his pen and pad back into his pocket and paused, "Is this your boyfriend?"

Morgana looked torn between disturbed and busting out laughing, "No, no, no, no! That's Arthur. He's my brother."

Mordred's shoulders immediately relaxed. Arthur looked like he was constipated, "Alright. I'll just put your orders in and be right back."

As soon as he was gone, Morgana leaned over the table and beamed at her, "I don't know if I told you, but tonight is my date with Merlin."

Gwen's smile faltered and she tried to quickly cover it up, but it didn't work in time. Morgana's face quickly turned concerned, "You're not happy…"

This seemed to even pick up Arthur's attention, who had recently been busy checking out the blonde waiter who in turn had been checking him out.

"No! It's not that. I mean, it is, but it's not for the reasons you think. It's just," she bit her lip, trying to think of the right way to put this, "it's just I don't think you should go. I mean, I don't think you shouldn't date, just not right now. One day. Just not today. You can still go if you want. I mean I'm not gonna stop you."

"Why?" Her voice was a whisper and Arthur raised an eyebrow and suddenly Gwen felt attacked, "I mean I really like him, Gwen. If this is because he's your ex, I understand. Girl code and all."

"No!" She smiled at that because how many girls had thought it was because of that, "I don't care! I'm worried about you, not me! Merlin has a lot of baggage right now. He hasn't been able to keep a steady relationship in years."

"You don't_ really_ like him, Morgana," Arthur suddenly spoke up.

Morgana's eyes turned thunderous and really, Morgana was quite intimidating when she wanted to be, "Who are you to tell me who I do and don't like."

"You don't know him. You've texted for all of six days and hung out once. You don't even know anything about him and frankly, I'm with Gwen. I think you should wait."

"Oh, don't go playing the protective brother now."

Morgana opened her mouth to talk, but Gwen held up her hand and the siblings turned to her surprised, "Either way, I think you should wait. Just a little longer. But that's only advice, you can do whatever you want."

That seemed to stop her in her tracks. She looked down at her napkin, not even glancing up as Mordred brought them their food. Gwen, for a minute, felt absolutely horrible for what she had said, but she was sick and tired of seeing these girls get their hopes up and then leaving once they realized Merlin's feelings were forced and not genuine and that, yes, he was still in love with someone else and it wasn't them.

Nevertheless, it made the rest of the meal sufficiently awkward. Morgana was clearly disappointed, Arthur was humming happily to himself due to the fact that he no longer had to worry about Merlin being his brother-in-law. And Gwen felt horribly guilty.

It was after lunch when Morgana finally hugged Gwen, "Same time, Monday, yeah?"

"I'll be here," Morgana turned to leave, but Gwen grabbed her arm, "I'm sorry. It's just…I want what's best for everyone."

Morgana smiled and patted her hand, "I know, Gwen. That's what I love about you."

There was an awkward hug passed between Arthur and Gwen, and damn, Arthur was muscular.

Gwen had only just gotten back to work and sat down when she got a text. She pulled her phone open and frowned. It was from Merlin.

_Merlin: u told morgana not 2 go on a date w/ me?_

_Gwen: i told her to wait just to make sure its right, you know? I didn't mean to offend u :(_

_Merlin: I luv u babe but let me handle my love life ok? No hard feelings I just gotta fix this now_

_Gwen: don't force anything_

_Merlin: Im not gonna rape her gwen_

_Gwen: No, ur feelings silly ;)_

_Merlin: Oh! I won't. _

_Gwen: love you :)__ :* _

_Merlin: u 2 :)_

She smiled. She and Merlin had never been able to stay mad at each other for more than a few minutes. They had ended up laughing and hugging five minutes after she had broken up with him.

But she did wish Merlin could understand why she had said what she had said.

They wouldn't understand. Arthur and Morgana. They couldn't. They hadn't been there.

_The television was on in the background, drowning out the booming thunder outside and the pitter-patter of the rain on the roof. Gwen had her feet on Lance's lap, her fingers entwined with his on her lap. She's talking about her job when his phone rings. Hers is charging, in the bedroom somewhere, so it makes her jump. _

_Lance leans forward, picks it off the coffee table in front of them. He hands it to her, "It's Merlin. Probably something to do with the wedding."_

_Gwen sits up, a smile spreading across her mouth, "Freya is probably still upset that he forgot to put their flower order in. It'll only be a minute, babe."_

_Lance nods and leans back. Gwen answers the phone, "Hello?"_

_"Lancelot DuLac?"_

_And as much as Gwen loves Lancelot, she hates that last name. She doesn't, however, recognize the voice and it makes her uneasy. Why would a stranger call from Merlin's phone, "No, this is his wife." _

_"This is Dr. Thomas from Roosevelt Hospital. Your husband is listed as Merlin Emrys' emergency contact –"_

_Gwen instantly jumps to her feet and her heart is in her throat. Lance, already clearly tuned in on that something is wrong, is standing with her and he looks frightened, "Wait, what?"_

_"Your friend has been in a car accident-"_

_"Oh my gosh." She's moving towards the door and Lancelot is grabbing the keys. She's trembling from head to toe. Merlin is her best friend and if anything horrible has happened to him…she can't even process the thought._

_"-his car hydroplaned. He and," there's a pause as if he's looking down at his file, "Freya Bastet have been brought in. We'll need you and your husband to come in as soon as you can."_

_Lance locks the door behind them and only then does Gwen notice his hands are shaking too. Tears are pricking at her eyes and she's sure her voice cracks, "Are they okay?" _

_"They're alive, but we will discuss the details once you are here."_

_"Okay, okay. Which hospital?" Lance is starting the car and pulling away from the curb, his tires screeching. _

_"Roosevelt." _

_"Okay, we're on our way," She's just barely pressed the end call button before a sob escapes her throat._

_"What happen?" Lance's voice is panicked, and that unsteadies her because Lance never panics but Merlin was his world at one time so Gwen does understand, "Gwen, baby, what happen?" _

_She's trying her best to compose herself, while she pulls up the contacts to call Merlin's mother and Will, "They're…they've been in a car accident-"_

_"Merlin. Is Merlin alive?" And he hasn't take his eyes off the road, but he's crying and Gwen's heart shatters. _

_"Yeah, yeah. They won't tell me how bad he is, but he's alive. He's alive."_

_Hunith doesn't answer on her home phone or her cell phone and that makes sense because it's almost ten-thirty here, which means it's nearing three-thirty there and she's likely asleep. She leaves a voicemail saying to call her back immediately and then calls Will, who also doesn't answer for the same reason. She doesn't have Gwaine's number, who has just recently become Merlin's good friend, so there's no way of contacting him. She doesn't have Freya's parents either, but she assumes the doctor has already called them anyway. _

_The hospital is a good fifteen minutes from their apartment and they both sit quietly, a shaky breath escaping one of them occasionally. Both of them are trying very hard not to think of the worst scenario, but in times like this, it seems almost impossible not to do just that. _

_Once the car is parked, Gwen grabs her purse and they're rushing into the ER, only to be redirected to the Intensive Care Unit, which does nothing for their nerves. _

_Gwen is the first one to the desk and she practically plows into it, "Merlin Emrys and Freya Bastet?"_

_"Dr. Thomas will be here to talk to you shortly." The receptionist says, and there's a numbness to her voice, something that comes only with the job. _

_Gwen sits, but Lance does not. He chooses to pace, wringing his hands in front of him and twirling his wedding band around his finger. When the doctor does approach them, Gwen loses it all over again, standing to her feet and rushing to meet him, "I'm Gwen. We talked on the phone."_

_"Yes. And this must be Lancelot?" _

_Lance nods and the doctor nods back, "I'll have a few questions for you to answer before I can discuss details."_

_Gwen doesn't even listen as the doctor asks if Merlin has any allergies or history of seizures or anything. She's too busy trying not to break down in the middle of the waiting room. _

_"He's alive." It's supposed to come out as a statement, but it sounds like a question. _

_"Yes," the doctor is really far too calm, but he picks up a clipboard, "Now, his injury list is extensive, but there is every chance he will recover fully."_

_Gwen's hand is on her stomach, the other on her mouth, as some of the panic leaves and relief floods in, "Oh thank God."_

_"He has three broken ribs, a severe concussion, a fractured arm and a dislocated shoulder. Other than that, it's just a few scratches and bruises. Very few needed stitches. He's been given a sedative to allow him to rest, but I imagine he'll be awake by tomorrow. Now, Freya Bastet, I'm assuming she's a friend of yours as well?" _

_"Yes," they both answer simultaneously, "She's Merlin's fiancée." _

_Something like remorse passes the doctor's face, but it's gone almost immediately, the cold mask slipping back into place, "She doesn't have near as long as a list, but she did suffer a blow to her head and neck."_

_There's a moment of silence._

_"There's damage to the brain. We've put her into a medically-induced coma in order for her body to heal and to allow the brain swelling to go down. She's breathing on her own, but…," the doctor glances up at them from his clipboard, "if she does wake up, and I'm sure she will, there's a good chance the brain damage might be permanent." _

_That hits Gwen like a ton of bricks. She can't breathe all of sudden. This isn't fair, Freya never deserved this. Sweet, shy, wonderfully beautiful Freya never deserved this. _

_Gwen breaks into a sob and she's vaguely aware of Lance's hand wrapping around her waist as he speaks to the doctor. _

_Merlin wakes up the next morning and they're allowed to see him, leaving their uncomfortable makeshift bed (two chairs pushed together) in the waiting room. Gwen has already spoken to his mother and Will and they're both getting on the first flight to America. _

_He looks horrendous. He's propped up on the hospital bed, IV tubes in his arm and a heart monitor taped to his chest. There's a large, stitched gash right below his hairline and it will probably scar. His arm is in a sling, a thin cast placed on it, and his shoulder his wrapped, the bandage peeking out from underneath his hospital gown. There a numerous cuts all along his neck and face, probably from the windshield. A large purple and yellow bruise is forming right above his left eyebrow, and there is a gash on the bridge of his nose, also stitched close. _

_He answers the doctors question, interrupting every few minutes to ask where Freya is, but the doctor won't answer. He turns to them before he leaves, saying if they need a nurse to press the call button and then closes the door behind him._

_Gwen is the one to tell him what happens and she watches Merlin's face crumble. She leaves out the fact that Freya might be permanently brain damaged, it isn't the right time. _

_She holds his hand while he cries and stays with him long after. Hunith arrives late that evening and holds her son as he cries. Will makes trips to the cafeteria and brings them food. He sits and watches T.V. with Merlin, who isn't really watching. Merlin sleeps a lot and barely eats. Gwaine is called at some point and shows up and it's a strange thing to see Gwaine somber. _

_Freya's parents don't stop in to see Merlin until the second day. Her mother looks horrible, too many tears shed, and her father looks tired. Merlin takes one look at them and falls apart, "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."_

_He repeats it over and over again like a broken record. Freya's mom, her name is Julie, takes his hand and kisses it, "Oh sweetie, we could never blame you."_

_Gwen leaves them to talk, kissing Merlin on the forehead. _

_Hunith is the first one to see Freya besides her parents and the only one at this point. She greets Gwen at the cafeteria and her face is hopeful, "She doesn't look near as bad as him. I think she'll wake up." _

_When she leaves, Lance, who's sitting with Gwaine and Gwen, looks down at his hands. Gwaine is the one to notice though; he's the least zombie-like of them all, "What's up, man?"_

_Lance looks up and he's so incredibly sad that he almost rivals Merlin, "I don't think she will, honestly." _

_Gwen is shocked at this, "How can you even say that right now? None of us need to hear that."_

_Lance just looks sad, "I just have this feeling."_

_"A feeling?" She shoves her chair back and stands up, "The only feeling we can afford to have right now is hope. She'll wake up, you'll see." _

_Merlin is released the third day. He doesn't go home. He goes straight to Freya and he breaks down all over again at the sight of her and so does Gwen. Honestly, Hunith is right. There's a few bruises and cuts, but nothing horrible. Merlin still looks worse. But she's lying so still and her breath is so uneven that it hurts to watch._

_Merlin doesn't leave her bedside until visiting hours are over. Even then, he sleeps in the waiting room. Every time the speaker system went off, announcing "Code Blue, ICU", Merlin, no matter how long he'd been asleep, would sit up, panicked until Gwen reassured him it wasn't Freya. _

_Six days after the accident, they stopped giving her the medicine to keep her asleep. She still didn't wake up._

_One day, they were sitting in the café when Merlin turned to her. There were black circles under his eyes, but the bruises were healing nicely, "Thanks for being here, Gwen."_

_Gwen could only lean over and kiss him on the cheek, "I'll always be here."_

_Merlin nodded, then looked down at his hand, "Gwen, I'm scared. I'm so scared she won't wake up."_

_His voice cracked on the last syllable and Gwen leaned forward and hugged him because it's all she could do. _

_Three days later, eight days after the accident, they were sitting with her. Merlin was stroking her palm with his good hand, talking to her about how as soon as she woke up they had to get back to planning their wedding and how she needs to wake up now because he misses her eyes when the heart monitor started beating frantically._

_Gwen, who was leaning back in the chair beside Merlin, sat up. Merlin's eyes were wide, "Gwen, what's happening? Gwen!"_

_"I don't know!" _

_Nurses rushed in and one bent over Freya, the other pulling Merlin and Gwen away. The one by Freya hissed at the other nurse, "Code Blue. Code blue. Her heart's stopped."_

_"NO!" Merlin pushed frantically against the male nurse and Gwen's heart was in her throat. Everything happened in slow motion, just like it always had in the movies. _

_"I'm sorry, sir." The nurse said before giving the final gentle push outside the door and closing it as a doctor rushed in. _

_"Damn it! Fuck!" Merlin slammed his fist against the door, "Fucking let me in! Fuck!"_

_Gwen grabbed Merlin's shoulders, careful not to hurt his injured one, and pulled him back towards her. He fought her for a minute, cussing and screaming, stopping a few nurses in their tracks, but they understood. He collapsed into her arms, sobbing. Will rushed up from the cafeteria (Lance had to go back to work since his job wouldn't pay for any more personal days) after a text from Gwen._

_Together, they sat with Merlin until the doctor came out. _

_Time of death: February 15th, 2012, 5:23:21PM._

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	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Here we go :)) REVIEW PLEASE!**

**Warnings: Mentions of Sex**

**Disclaimer: even though I really really wish I did because Colin Morgan. **

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_Chapter 6_

In hindsight, Morgana probably should have listened to Gwen about canceling the date. It would have been smarter. Merlin did carry a lot of baggage and Morgana was exactly free of baggage herself, but she thought, fuck it, she deserved to be happy. She was also notorious for ignoring other people's advice and listening to her heart before her head. Which is why it made no sense that she had plopped her brother down on the edge of her bed and modeled various outfits for him knowing full well that his opinion really wasn't going to change anything.

"No."

She frowned, looking down at the jean miniskirt and black tank top, "Why not? This is the fifth outfit you've turned down tonight."

"You look like a hooker. Change," and with that, he flopped his pretty little blonde head down on her pillows.

Well, that meant she had only one more outfit to show before she gave up on the whole thing and canceled the date. She grabbed her favorite pair of jeans from the closet, dark with natural frays, and held them up to her waist, "Okay, how bout this with my black heels?"

He cracked an eye open and then shut it, "Better, but change the top."

"Why?"

"Too revealing."

She threw her jeans at him, to which both eyes snapped open to glare at her. She placed her hands on her hips and tried to look as intimidating as possible though it had never worked on Arthur so far, "Too revealing?! What has gotten into you, you've never been this protective brother before!"

He sat up and Morgana could tell he was trying his puppy dog look, but she too could resist him, "Because, Gana, I don't trust Merlin."

"He's a nice guy, Arthur. You're friends with him yourself."

"Nice? Morgana, he's a player."

Morgana grabbed her jeans off the bed, ignoring Arthur and stomping into the bathroom. She changed quickly, checked her reflection to make sure her hair and makeup was good, and then stormed back into the room, "You are calling Merlin a player? That's rich."

"He's dated half of his friend group!" He was gesturing widely with his hands and Morgana tried not to be annoyed.

"That shows he's mature!" She checked the time on her phone. Five more minutes and he'd be here.

"Dating half of your friends is _mature_?" He looked exasperated, but still she did not look at him.

"No, staying friends with your exes is mature."

Arthur shook his head, but didn't say anything more on the matter and that was absolutely fine with Morgana. She sat down beside him to pull her heels on.

The doorbell rang.

She clapped her hands and tried to ignore the butterflies in her stomach, "Oh! He's early!"

When she answered the door, he was standing on the other side with a motorcycle helmet in each hand. Good thing Arthur had made her change out of the miniskirt then. He was wearing dark jeans that were sagged a little, grey DC shoes, a button up white-dress shirt and a black leather jacket. His hair was windswept, despite wearing the helmet.

"You look like a teenager."

Morgana frowned because that was definitely not her voice, but her brother's behind her. Merlin glanced over her shoulder to where Arthur stood leaning against her bedroom door.

"Oh, you're here."

"Yes, I'm here, Merlin. Good observation."

Morgana frowned, spinning on her heels to look at Arthur, "Honestly? Could you not?"

Merlin laughed behind her and she turned to give him an equally exasperated look. He just smiled at her and damn, did he have an incredible smile, "It's okay. He's not bothering me," Arthur chuckled behind her, "Are you ready?"

"Yeah. I'm just gonna grab my purse," She walked back to where she had left in the bathroom. She could hear them bickering out in the hallway, followed by occasional laughing and she smiled to herself. At least her brother got along with him, even if it was in the weirdest way possible.

Merlin handed her a helmet when she got back out. Good thing she didn't curl her hair. Arthur followed them down the stairs and out to his car. She had no idea that Merlin drove a motorcycle, but somehow this made him even hotter to her.

"Honda?" Arthur asked, pointing to the slick, blue bike parked two away from his own car, an Audi R8 that he had bought over two years ago, despite Morgana telling him it made him look like a preppy rich kid.

"Yeah, a VFR800. I bought it from Gwaine actually,"

"What year?" And he pressed a button that started his car because he was also ridiculous like that.

Merlin rolled his eyes, but laughed, "2010. Do you ride?"

Okay, she had tried her best to go along with all the boy talk, but this was supposed to be her date, not Arthur's. She held up her hand, "Okay. Can we go?"

Arthur gave a weird look, cut off mid-sentence, and Merlin started his nervous stammering, but nodded, "Uh, sure."

"Bye, Arthur." She waved goodbye and Arthur just nodded and opened his car door, a butterfly door of all things, and slid in. She put on her helmet, a deep blue to match the bike.

Merlin was already straddling the motorcycle, putting in gear and offering a hand out to help her on. She took it and straddled the back of the motorcycle, wrapping her arms around his waist. He turned his head and yelled back over the engine, "You good?"

"Yeah."

Using his legs, he backed up slowly, and then accelerated forward towards the street, looking both ways before he pulled out into traffic. Arthur's car disappeared in the other direction.

Morgana had never in her life been on a motorcycle before. She had dreamed of it, thought about buying her own, but had never actually gone through with it. Now, being on the back of one, she had never felt so free, so full of adrenaline. Merlin was a risky driver, weaving in and out of traffic, the engine roaring behind them. She threw her head back and laughed, but didn't dare let go like they did in the movies.

They somehow ended up going down a side street, Merlin being the only one knowing where they were going. He pulled up at a restaurant she had only been to once in her whole life, a small outdoor Italian restaurant where they weaved lights around the trunks and branches of all the trees. He parked on the street parallel to it and allowed her to hop off before he shut the engine off.

"Okay, so I didn't know if you'd ever been here or not, but…" he trailed off like he didn't know how to finish that sentence.

"Once, when we first moved here, but not since then," she looked around as Merlin strapped their helmets to the bike, "It's pretty."

He nodded, running a hand through his hair and then pulling off his jacket to lay it across his arm. He hesitated and then held it out to her, "You cold? We'll be sitting outside so if you want my jacket…you can have it."

Morgana smiled and took it, thanking him.

Merlin gave his name for the reservation, Emrys, and she liked the ring of that. Morgana Emrys. Not that she was planning that far ahead or anything, she _would never_. Merlin chattered on nervously about a news piece he had seen about the population of bees decreasing in America and Morgana couldn't help but smile, because nervous Merlin was adorable.

The waiter led them to their table, up against the back, directly by the fence and the tall tree that was lit brightly. Their table had a white cloth over it and a flickering candle as a centerpiece, it was all quite charming. Merlin didn't even look over the menu, so she assumed he came here often.

"You're nervous," She said after she ordered their food.

"Yes." He didn't even hesitate, ducking his head as he blushed, "I'm sorry. It's just, I haven't been on a date in a long time."

"Gwen made it sound like you do this often," She smiled at him to make sure he knew she wasn't accusing him of anything.

He laughed, scratching the side of his face absentmindedly, "Gwen thinks every time I take a girl or guy to dinner I'm on a date. Most of them I'm just having dinner as friends."

"It's okay," and then she added, "Don't be nervous."

Merlin smiled and then looked down at his table as he picked nervously at his napkin, "Hard not to be when you look like that."

She certainly wasn't expecting that and blushed. But Morgana wasn't one to be shy and she took pride in that, "Thank you, Merlin. Seriously though, tell me about yourself."

"Uhh," and then he laughed nervously, "What do you want to know?"

"Anything."

"I feel like you already know a lot about me and I don't know anything about you," He said simply.

"There's not a lot to know about me," she caught his eye and he smiled and it was like his entire soul was visible to her and like he was actually interested in her and not just sleeping with her. It made her blush all over again.

"I don't believe that for one second. Come on, what's your dreams, your aspirations, all that?"

Her face softened and she felt something in her crumble because no one had ever talked to her like this before. No one had ever cared like this before and she felt she could trust Merlin. Something about him made all her willpower crumble, all the walls she had built up fall apart, "I hate business. I hate working with my father and Arthur."

Merlin arched an eyebrow, "Really?"

"I love them both, don't get me wrong, but I don't like what I'm doing-"

"I'm sorry, but what is your job title again? I don't think we've ever discussed it," Merlin said and then thanked the waiter who had brought out the bread to set on the table.

Morgana took a piece and watched Merlin tear at his piece nervously, "I'm the Director of Human Resources. I'm on the Board of Directors too so I guess you could say I'm basically an advisor to Arthur. He's the CEO."

Merlin whistled low, "You guys make me look like an underachiever."

"How? You're in med school."

The rest of the date went smoothly if you asked Morgana. Merlin was charming with a brilliant smile and he listened well and asked questions appropriately. He was incredibly handsome, Morgana was not blind to that. But there were moments, barely noticeable moments, where Merlin's eyes would suddenly become downcast and saddened. He would quickly cover it by looking down at his food and when he looked back up, it was like nothing had happened.

She had almost forgotten why when Merlin pulled out his phone to check the time and flipped it open to a picture of him and his ex-fiancée. Her heart sunk. Of course. She should have known.

"Ready to go?" Merlin said after he paid the bill (which she felt horrible about since she and Arthur had more money than they had to do with) and he was smiling at her, and she tried desperately to smile back, but it came back a grimace, so she just nodded.

When he pulled up to her condo, he got off to walk her to her door. She fished for her keys in her purse and Merlin watched her with piercing blue eyes.

"Do you wanna come in?" It wasn't meant to sound suggestive, but seeing how Merlin's eyes widened he had apparently taken it that way.

"Uh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't –" And honestly, Morgana should have called off the date because despite how great the date had been, Merlin wasn't ready. Two years later and he still wasn't ready and Morgana didn't understand, but wished she could. And she could see, even if Merlin couldn't, that this was as far as their relationship went, it just wasn't going to work, not when Merlin was still in love with someone else.

However, knowing all this, didn't make her want it any less. Not when Merlin was so handsome, and warm, and everything she had ever wanted. And it wasn't fair, that Morgana had waited her entire life for a man like him only to know someone else had gotten to him long before her.

And that's why she surged forward, throwing her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his.

Merlin's body froze against her so she pressed farther up against him, trying desperately to show him that if he allowed, she could be the one who made him forget. Slowly, after a few seconds of Morgana swiping her tongue across his lips, he relaxed, his arm going around her waist as he bent forward.

After that, it was just a matter of pausing long enough from making out by her door to unlock it, pull him inside and towards her bedroom.

She pushed him down on the bed, his pupils blown wide and Morgana smirked because this part was familiar for her. She reached for the hem of her shirt, pulling it up over her head.

"Morgana." His voice was husky, low, and she felt it shake her to her core. She reached for the buttons of his shirt, slowly undoing them as she straddled his lap. He reached up, shakily, grabbing her wrists and she paused to look at his blue eyes, "Morgana, we really shouldn't…"

She shut him up by kissing him and again, he melted into it. She pushed him back onto his back, continuing to straddle his lap and he tried to sit up, but she held him down, "Morgana."

"Merlin, please" and then she kissed him.

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Later, after the sheets were tangled around their waists, she smiled, blissful. Morgana had just found a comfortable spot on Merlin's chest, her long black hair curling around his arm, and was considering falling asleep, basking in the afterglow of their sex, when he shot up, her head falling backwards.

"Oh my god," He swung his feet over the side of the bed and was on his feet in an instant, reaching for his jeans which had landed on the floor by the dresser, "oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god."

Morgana sat up, clutching the sheets to her as she sat up, "What are you doing?"

His jeans were on, hanging low on his hips and unbuttoned, "oh my god."

"Stop saying that and come to bed," but Merlin wasn't listening. He was too busy frantically searching for his shirt, mumbling to himself the whole time. She groaned, "What's wrong with you?"

He froze, and looked up at her with wide eyes. His hand froze midway through raking his hair, "I'm an idiot, that's what's wrong."

"How are you an idiot?" She reached for her bra because apparently they were getting dressed now.

"Because I slept with you!"

Well that was a knife to the heart. She froze midway through putting her bra on, looking up at him through her dark lashes, "Okay, ouch."

"No! No!" He sat down on the edge of the bed, looking like he was about to reach over and pull her in for a hug before he stood up almost instantly, his voice changing to frantic again, "I swore to your brother I wasn't going to sleep with you. I swore to myself I wasn't going to sleep with you! Not on the first date."

"Merlin, it's okay. I don't regret it," She tried, pulling on her underwear and pushing the sheets off to sit on top of them and stare up at him as he grabbed his shirt, pulling it on.

"Well I do!" Again, she looked hurt and he threw up his hands, "Not like that! I regret not waiting! You were great. Excellent even. It's not you!"

He was really a sight to see. Jeans unbuttoned, dress shirt unbuttoned to expose his abs and chest, hair askew, mouth red from kissing. If he wasn't freaking out like a little girl, he'd be sexy.

"I was just thinking with my little head, not my big head. And ugh," he buttoned up his pants, looking around for his socks, "I'm so stupid! Always think with the big head, never the little head!"

"Little head?" She said, annoyed, because really Merlin was killing her afterglow.

He gestured to his crotch absentmindedly, "little head", and then pointed to his hair, "big head. Always think with the big one."

"Well if that's not the weirdest thing I've ever heard."

"Ah ha!" He grabbed his sock from underneath the bed, not even bothering to figure out how it had gotten there. He sat up, looked at Morgana and blushed, "Look I'm gonna be the douchebag that leaves now, but I won't be the douchebag that doesn't call you, okay? And I'm terribly sorry for sexing you and all on the first date. And yeah, I'm a horrible idiot."

"Did you just say sexing?"

"Anyways, I'll call. I swear."

Morgana watched him go, listened to the motorcycle rev up and wheel away from her apartment and then promptly buried her face in her hands.

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**REVIEW. Please! i need the encouragment. Long reviews are my favorite ;) but i'm not picky. Love you alllll. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Short, short chapter! But that's cause I suck at characterization for Gwaine. So I just needed to get it over with. But here's my take on Gwaine! PLEASE REVIEW. I need reviews so badly! They make me feel so good!**

**WARNING: Angst, mentions of drugs and alcohol and death**

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_Chapter 7_

Gwaine hadn't always been a drunk. In fact, for the first twenty-two years of his life, he had been utterly ordinary.

And then there had been the war and his friend had been hit by two bullets in the back of the skull, and then another blown to bits by a grenade and it all kind of went to shit then.

He had been thrust back into the world, out of his element, where people took one look at his dog tags and his cropped hair and their eyes filled with pity. Small noises, people banging on the door, video games, anything really, and he was right back in that damned desert. Gwen called them "triggers".

He dealt the only way he could. By forgetting.

And really, could anyone blame him? What with his friend dying over and over again in his dreams?

So yes, for him, happiness was at the bottom of a beer bottle. He'd found a bar, sat himself right down on the edge of that bar stool and scanned the crowd for a lonely girl that would share the bed with him that night so he wouldn't have to sleep alone.

And that's when he met her. At a bar called Ealdor.

She had been beautiful, wonderful, sweet, and said things like "We all have our baggage, Gwaine. Doesn't mean it defines you. Not unless you want it too," and he didn't believe in love at first sight, but he was starting to.

And then her boyfriend, Merlin of all things, had shown up, all long limbs and earth-shattering smiles and mistrust. And even though Merlin had been the one to throw the first punch, Gwaine had been the one to entice him with "here, Freya, let me give you my number" and Merlin with "Seriously? I'm right fucking here" and they both had been kicked out of the bar.

But apparently the devil himself had it out for Gwaine because a month later Merlin was the one to find Gwaine on his knees in the restroom of the bar, puking his guts out due to alcohol poisoning and nightmares. And Merlin had been the one to drive him to the ER because Merlin was anything but cruel.

Freya had met them there and Gwaine felt peace.

That's when he had been dragged into the world that was Merlin. He met Lancelot, the ruggedly attractive hero who didn't seem to give a single fuck that his ex was parading around the girl he had broken up with him over. He met Gwen, who gave him more looks of pity than he was comfortable with and handed him pamphlets about PTSD and depression and all that shit. And then there was Will, who was a critic over everything, but funny as hell.

And they were all wonderful in their own ways, but Freya outshined them all and Gwaine tried to hide the dull ache behind charming smiles because she could never be his, despite what he wanted. Merlin, in spite of their first meeting which he seemed to have forgotten, was blissfully unaware of Gwaine's feelings and even dragged him around to look at engagement rings.

Merlin proposed in a park, at a cookout where they all attended, and he sang to her and promised his life to her and of course she had said yes. Gwaine drank so much that night that he blacked out.

And then things got better for a bit because Merlin and Freya were so busy apartment shopping and wedding planning that they ignored Gwaine.

Then things got worse. They found an apartment and got a dog and Freya was out wedding dress shopping so Merlin took Gwaine and Lancelot to dinner and asked them to be his groomsmen because apparently Merlin did have a mean streak.

And then there was graduation and flower arrangements and catering and Merlin's bachelor party which Will had asked for Gwaine's help with because if there was one thing he was good at, it was partying.

There was the night Freya sat in his apartment, on his couch, showing him the ring she had bought Merlin and the inscription on the inside, '_It's everything you wanted', _it's a lyric from her favorite song, she explains. Sadly, it's the same song Merlin sings at her funeral.

It would have been easy to lean over and kiss her, but Gwaine respects Merlin, even if he is in a different country at the moment.

And then it rained, and Merlin's car flipped into a ditch and Freya laid pale in bed while her fiancé clutched her hand and Gwaine couldn't bring himself to hate Merlin for living.

"You have to wake up. For Merlin. He's a mess without you," and he left the 'and for me' and 'I am too' unspoken.

And then it got worse, worse than the war, worse than the time his father had walked out of his life much like Merlin's had, and he found himself standing at the cemetery with Freya's casket being lowered into the ground and Merlin standing two feet in front of him, wearing a black suit and staring blankly at the ground.

He drank a lot, but for once, Merlin had him beat. Gwen removed all sharp objects in Merlin and Freya's (now Merlin and Will's) apartment, scared for her friend, and then asked Gwaine to move in with Merlin.

And he came home from the bar or the gym to find Merlin laying drunk on the couch, silent tears streaming down his face and saying, "She's gone, she's gone" like Gwaine didn't know.

Gwen still gave him pamphlets, but there was two of everything now. One for Merlin, one for him.

Gwen was always worried, which is why Gwaine didn't tell her when he found Merlin high on something horrible a few months after Freya was buried. He didn't tell her about how often Merlin got drunk, or that Merlin barely ate, but soon it became obvious because Merlin's cheeks were hollowed, and his ribs showed.

Merlin picked up smoking and so did Gwaine. No one told Gwen or Hunith.

Eight months after her death, things started to get better. Merlin started going to the gym with him and he began to fill out again. He quit drinking as much and looked into getting back into school. He turned back into his old self, but it was always in his eyes and the scar on his forehead, right below his airline, reminded Gwaine.

Merlin went back to cleaning up after Gwaine. But sometimes, when Merlin would come across a "trigger", as Gwen called it, Gwaine would be the one to clean up after Merlin.

So Gwaine really wasn't surprised when Merlin came stumbling into the flat drunk after his date with Morgana.

Arthur, on the other hand, was.

Arthur, in Gwaine's opinion, was a rich ass, but he was a fun, rich ass. Gwaine didn't typically like people with money because they had a tendency to rub it in your face and think they were better than you. And really, Arthur was exactly like that, but there was something beneath the layers of fine pressed clothes and Audi R8s. So he figured, why not get to know him?

Which is why he had invited Arthur to come over to watch football and drink a beer while Merlin was out on his date and Will was gone visiting his girlfriend.

The door swung open to a very intoxicated Merlin leaning heavily on Gwen, who was struggling with her purse and keys.

"Can one of you," She gestured to Merlin, who had made his way to sit at the table, "deal with him please?"

Arthur glanced over at Gwaine, who raised an eyebrow and set his beer down the coffee table. He walked over to Merlin, who raised his head to look at him miserably, "What happen?"

"She looks like her. She looks like her and it hurts," his breath rank of cigarettes and booze.

Arthur was standing, and Killi, God bless him, was whining at Merlin's feet, "Where' s Morgana?"

"Arthur!" Merlin shouted, pointing to him, and then looking between Gwaine and Gwen, "Why is he here?"

Gwen huffed, placing her hands on the counter and leaning forward. She looked tired, "He called me from the bar. Lance is driving back his motorcycle right now."

Gwaine nodded and looked down at Merlin, who was staring stupidly at the button on Gwaine's shirt.

"He's drunk." Arthur said as if that wasn't obvious and Merlin jumped in his seat.

"I keep forgetting he's here. Why is here?" Merlin said after a minute.

"I invited him. Come on, let's get you to bed," Gwaine leaned down to grab Merlin, wrapping an arm around his waist and hauling him up.

Merlin leaned heavily against his side, until Arthur was on his other side, doing the same as Gwaine. Merlin titled his head to look at Arthur, who just glared back, and Merlin laughed, "You're stupid good looking, do you realize that? I hate you for it."

Arthur's eyebrows furrowed and he flushed, looking embarrassed and flattered and everything in between, "Thank you…I guess."

"So's Morgana. But leave it to me, I fucked that up too."

"What'd you do?" Arthur asked, while he struggled to get Merlin into the hallway.

"I can't tell you! You'd have to kill me!"

They opened the door to his room, well Gwaine did, and they dropped him onto his bed, "It's the other way around, dumbass."

"What is?" Merlin muttered as he tried in vain to push himself farther up the bed.

"It's I can't tell you, I'd have to kill you."

Merlin looked confused and Gwaine laughed as he yanked off Merlin's shoes. He placed them by the night stand, "What can't you tell him?"

Merlin closed his eyes. Gwaine stood by the side of his bed, looking down at him, while Arthur was doing a very good job standing at the foot of the bed looking annoyed. For a minute, they thought Merlin was asleep and then, "That I slept with Morgana. Even though I told him I wouldn't and then I left."

Gwaine looked up to see a muscle in Arthur's jaw twitch. He looked back down at Merlin, "You left?"

Merlin didn't open his eyes, but he turned his head to the side, "She looks too much like her. It hurt too much, Gaawaine. I had no other option," before either of the sober ones could say anything, "I told her I'd call, but I can't. I'm not ready. I should become a monk, Gwaine. They seem happy, right? If not a little bald?"

"We'll make sure to look into it tomorrow," Gwaine pulled the blanket up and over Merlin.

Killi pranced into the room, apparently done visiting her Uncle Lance who had just arrived, and jumped onto the bed, circling a few times before he settled by Merlin's legs.

Merlin's head tilted back and his mouth fell open, a few seconds later a soft snore emerged.

Out in the living room, Gwen was standing next to Lance, who was leaning against the counter with a glass of water in hand. Gwaine went to grab his beer and then sat down at the island with Arthur.

There was a moment of silence before Gwaine turned to Arthur, "So on a scale of one to ten, how pissed off are you?"

"Soft seven," Arthur muttered and that got to Gwaine to laugh.

And he so badly wished that he could fix Merlin from the nightmares and the memories, but if he knew anything, it was that nothing could stop the memories from overtaking your nightmares.

And Gwaine was an expert on nightmares.

* * *

**REVIEW. **


End file.
